So I had a dream about writing this blog the other night and I felt like that was kind of my sign to actually do, it so here it goes. 

During the past 8 months I have been battling with the classic “self-image” struggles. I’ve gained almost 20 pounds, I’ve been breaking out all the over the place when I never used to, I’ve gained a lot of new scars from bug bites and weird rashes, and honestly the list goes on. I just look different and for a while I let it consume me. 

In Thailand month one I hated the way I looked so much that I had somewhat of a breakdown. I was looking at all these pictures of girls at home in their cute clothes and their nice make up and skinny bodies and I was so frustrated. I wanted my old body back and at that point, my old life back. 

People on my squad noticed the way I started talking about myself and graciously called me out on it. At first I didn’t want to hear it, but then I realized I was really dishonoring the Lord in the way I talked and thought about myself. 

One of my teammates gave me a little piece of paper that had this on it – 

“God doesn’t make mistakes. We are created in his image. We serve a creative God. Each one of us looks different.” 

Genesis 1:27

Psalms 45:11

Isaiah 64:8

Psalms 139:13-16

Philippians 1:6

I read the words she wrote and looked through those verses often to remind myself that I am created exactly how I am supposed to be. Of course I was going to gain weight when all the Guatemalans served us was fried anything and everything. Of course my skin wasn’t going to be clear when I had to buy weird face washes made in Thailand. And of course I was going to get scars, the bugs in Swaziland are relentless. But, now that I know what he says about me I don’t have to care about those things. Yeah I might look different, but I AM different and I’m so glad I am. I’ve grown in ways I never thought I could. I’ve changed so much that it’s hard to remember what I was like before the race. It came with a lot of challenges and rough patches, but that’s what changed me so I couldn’t be more grateful for those moments. 

However, just because I know what he says about me now doesn’t mean I’ll always believe it, but thats why I have those verses, so I can always be reminded. If you’re a normal human and have ever felt bad about the way you look or your just having that fun day of insecurity that satan likes to throw at us, I encourage you to read through those. He created you in HIS image, so therefore you are flawless because our heavenly father is flawless