Recently I’ve been listening to a lot podcasts. They are the only thing that seems to load besides music.
The Lord has been teaching me through them about the gift of the Holy Spirit.
I’ve been learning that leaning into the Holy Spirit is not my shame but it is my honor.
That allowing myself to be captivated & helped by the Holy Spirit does not make me weak. My dependency on the spirit gives me strength.
God’s timing is perfect. Being away from home my first week in Swaziland has been so so hard. I’ve experienced home sickness, I’ve missed the birth of my sweet best friend’s son, and I’ve battled in prayer from Africa for those back home.
I’ve experienced heartbreak this week. Heartbreak for what I was missing and heartbreak for those back home.
Although I’ve experienced bittersweet moments and sadness this week, the way the Lord has spoken to me has proved His great goodness. He has put people and words into my path showing Himself. He’s brought comfort. He’s promised goodness and I’m expectant.
I’ve been asked a lot this month what the Lord is teaching me. My ministry placement this month is maintenance. My squad is working with AIM (Adventures In Missions) & Children’s HopeChest in eSwatini (Swaziland got a new name). Here, the 40 of us are split up within the departments at the main office and have ‘real jobs’. Some are working at the preschool, some are working at the office, some are working with women of the community, and some are working at the CarePoints.
If you’re me, you’re working in maintenance. I’m the only girl out of our team of 3 and I get to wear a skirt while digging holes. It didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me at first. I thought,” I dont mind being on maintenance, but to chose a girl to do this when there are other options and I’m just not the most convenient thing”
I was just curious as to why- but sucked it up and besides having blister covered palms, it’s a good time.
I’ve done manual labor before, it’s not something I viewed as opportunity for growth. I wanted to work with women or teens this month, that’s where I thought I could gain the most growth.
But the Lord has other plans. When approached with what the Lord is teaching me this month- the answer is bigger than what I’m learning in ministry.
He took all of my predisposed plans and made them His. Which I am thankful for. He’s given me work for the Kingdom but also the opportunity to sit with him with a clear mind while I do this work. Digging holes doesn’t take a lot of preparation or thinking- so in doing this work I’ve been able to just be with him. I’m learning how to be fully invested and intimate with the Holy Spirit. I’ve been exposed to situations where I can do absolutely nothing in my own power, and I can only rely on His strength to keep me sane. It’s tough but it’s powerful.
Because it has been tough, I’ve questioned why I’m all the way in Africa and not home. I’ve thought,” God why do you have me here if I’m just digging holes?”
Well He said 2 things.
- He said, “Ris, let me remind you the church is a body. Each piece is so specific and intended. You digging holes and fixing physical broken things around carepoints allows those who inhabit the carepoints to be able to not worry about the maintenance and hear My voice- this is giving a place to be.”
- Then He said,”this is a gift I’m giving you. You are so far removed from home and I know it’s hard. I’ve grieved with you. But I also am gifting you fresh perspective. I’m showing you what it is like to be fully with me. Fully invested and reliant. Combining that with fresh perspective, you are growing in prayer and I hear your prayers. I’m proud of you and I am listening.”
He has met me where I’m at, hearing my prayers. He’s healed this week. Giving me words to speak into others. He is good, and He’s helping us to be good too.
