Hello Friends and Family,
I have officially been in America for a full year and felt those who followed my year long journey abroad would enjoy an update of my time in the states.
To be fully transparent, this past year has been extremely difficult for me. I’ve had to deal with a lot of heartache and have struggled immensely without community. I strived to generate some sort of trajectory for my life while also giving control to God and felt no true direction for my life and confusion on my next steps.
As I reflected on my journal entries from this year I found a pattern that Satan loved to use hundreds of small things to knock me down. It all started with having to adjust back to the American culture and then like a fine marble, satan tried to chip away. I did fully crumble at times but God has not left me as rubble. He continues to rebuild me.
Though this year has been hard, God has been ever present and has answered many of my prayers. He hasn’t answered them how I would like for some of them but he has answered.
Upon my return I prayed fervently for community and to either join or lead a women’s discipleship group and now I am blessed to do both. I prayed for a closer relationship with my family and have gained optimal time with them to love them better. I, silly enough, had a Tough Mudder on my prayer request/goals list and will be completing one in October. I have gotten my health on the right track which I didn’t pray for, God just knew I needed it.
God had spoken words over me prior to my return. He said, this will be a season of financial stability and a season of newness. The first one sounded great but the other one, I have realized, is NOT easy. It still blows my mind I have been financially stable since I returned. When I realized he fulfilled the words he spoke over me I was broken as I had been taking it for granted.
I had also been praying about returning to Frutillar, my first and favorite month out of the race, and sadly I will not be returning this year. This is an answered prayer even though it was not answered how I wanted.
These things may sound small or silly, however I am a firm believer that each person’s struggle and life is real and important. No matter how small the struggle, it is a struggle.
Coming back from a year long mission trip has been hard. My apartment is filled with photos and memories from each country and they fill me with joy and sadness. I have had to process a lot, grow a lot, fail a ton, not give up and TRUST God. I have had to forgive myself over and over and accept the truth of God’s unfailing, never-ending forgiveness.
Now God has me in a season of waiting. While I wait I have been pressing deeper and deeper into his word and doing my best to love others as Christ loves us. My time abroad did not make me some crazy cultist Bible thumper. In fact, it opened my eyes to more reality, the sin of the world, my own sin and made me love people more.
So now we wait, I do not know where God is leading me or when and some days I absolutely despise not knowing but I know he has a plan for me that will glorify him.
Isaiah 43:1-3 Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord you God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
Ways To be praying for me:
1. Pray I am patient in the waiting.
2. Pray I hear God when he speaks so when he tells me to move I move.
