There is this song, Dry Bones by Lauren Daigle. I don’t listen to it often, however it comes to mind when I think of my last week in Peru.
We are in Lima with our whole squad for a week of growth, internal and physical. Each morning we have a lesson from one of our leaders ranging from soul care to spiritual gifts and in the afternoon are given opportunity to process the information and/or do outreach in the community.
It’s interesting how as we are poured into by our leaders Satan attacks harder. I have physically felt and seen the attacks on myself this week. I am usually full of joy but the past two days small events have brought me down into a fog. I have no explanation for my dreary mood and I pray it away but God doesn’t always answer prayers how we want him to. If he did he wouldn’t be God.
My mind keeps battling with the comfort of self pity and the welcoming aroma of depression. It would be so easy to lay in bed all day, lost in my “sad” thoughts but I know this is not me. So, I am doing the uncomfortable and talking about my feelings.
Leaning into community and God is not easy if you are like me, a people pleaser. I never want to be the one to “poop at the party.” Instead, I like to bring life to the party.
Breaking out of this comfort is molding me into a better person. Instead of bottling my emotions, I am learning how to healthily talk through how I feel. The support, prayer, feedback and love I receive in return has truly been from God.
This doesn’t change my mood, necessarily. It does, however help me to process and allow others to understand what is going on in my head.
As we look down the road where all the prodigals have walked
One by one the enemy has whispered lies
And led them off as slaves
We know there is more to come
That we may not yet see
So with the faith you’ve given us
We’ll step into the valley unafraid, yeah
We call out to dead hearts come alive, come alive
Up out of the ashes let us see an army rise
We call out to dry bones, come alive…”
I know this season will pass and then resurface again one day. That is how life goes. We battle with highs and lows even while on a mission trip in Peru. The greatest part is that God is good through it all.
