Sometimes it's funny how as a man who knows the Lord it is sometimes easy to forget the simple truths such as he loves me, he will never leave me or forsake me, he is good, he is faithful, etc. things that we hear all the time but they become words that go in one ear and out the other because we lose sight of what this truly means and the power of it.
Last month while in Swaziland I found myself forgetting these simple truths and begin to question If I even belonged to god. Oh yea the enemy had me right where he wanted me. I definitely didn't see this coming. The month was a jammed packed month with sharing the gospel, preaching to the crowd, loving on the children, hitting the streets witnessing, prayer, worship, doing everything we know to do that God may be glorified.
But even in the midst of all of that the enemy found his way into my weak mind causing me to question and doubt. It all started with the desire to behold the glory of god in greater magnitudes. If I am honest with myself I was seeking more like supernatural experiences etc. as a confirmation that he was as real as he says he is. But even if it wasn't to confirm anything but rather just to see and experience should not my desire be To know Christ. My greatest passion which is to know god slipped out of my heart and I let something else's slip in.
Becuase I wasn't seeing what I wanted to see I started to doubt he loved me and I started to think that God owed me something but oh boy was I wrong. What I love is that in the midst if all that he was so gracious and tender towards me never forgetting that desire to behold his glory. He caused me to behold it in such a simple but glorious way. On our last day in Africa two little girls approached me with a letter and it said
"Dear Richard, you have a father in heaven and when you can't see him, point to him, or feel him he will never leave you and he loves you"
As I read those words i wept because those were the very truths that I forgot. In child like faith god sent two children to share the words he wanted me to hear and and at that point I asked god that he would give me a child like faith for if I don't posses such I won't make it.
What put the icing on the cake is he led me to the story of Thomas when Thomas had to see in order to believe that Christ return was real. And Christ said blessed are those who believe and do not see.
Thomas a man who beheld the glory of god through Christ and yet still didn't believe. I don't want to have my Christian walked marked out by what I see and don't see for god has enlightened the eyes of my heart and I have beheld his son and I am intimate with him. He is righteouos, gracious, and merciful toward me and this is his glory revealed through Christ. Let us love though we have not seen, let us believe though we have not seen, let us remember the salvation of our souls through Christ changing us from children of the world to children of light, that's powerful and that's his glory. Rest in it!
