Ahh the good old word called "community"! How often have I talked about community as if i knew what it took to live in it? Countless times! How often have i told people about the importance of community as if i knew the importance? Countless times! But look at me now, the "honey moon" stage is over and i realize i had no idea what biblical community was to begin with. It's wonderful when everyone agrees on the team name. It's wonderful when everyone has awesome feedback that doesn't rub anyone the wrong way. It's wonderful when everyone has the same level of connection. It's awesome when we are new to each other and have an abundance of grace towards flaws. Why is that grace so hard to find now? Hmm perhaps that abundance wasn't there to begin with Rich. Not saying I don't have grace, so don't think that. I would be the first to admit my flaws and who am I that i wont have grace; I need as much grace as possible. What I am saying is that certain challenges causes this grace to be more difficult than i thought it would be.
The Point is the honey moon was wonderful after i put the ring on and said I DO, but the truth is once i put a ring on it "committed to the race and my team" i did exactly that. I made a commitment, therefore i have an obligation to honor God by living out this commitment. The bottom line of this commitment is to obey god the one who has called me to this commitment.
Oh yes team j159 is a wonderful team that I'm growing to love more and more, but the reality is we all have different personality types that can clash or be misunderstood. Nothing negative by any means but it is a spiritual and emotional growth process that i must learn to be patient, loving and graceful towards, but also recognize the struggle within myself and address it with scripture. It can be tough at times simply because i realize my inability to do and be anything without Christ and sometimes it takes him disciplining me to show me this.
I absolutely love it though because it keeps me before god. And I love it because god is stretching me through it. It's one thing to say i live in community when i only see the church community on sunday and a few days during the week we hang out. It's a totally different thing when you see them everyday, all day and have to live in their personal space. At times privacy is a rare luxury, but i ask myself is god calling me to be private in community? Or is god calling me to be intentional on knowing them, pour into them, learn from them, love them, and treat them as sons and daughters of god.
Now I understand there is time when I need privacy and space, but just because I do not get it as much as i would like to that does not justify the action of letting my emotions get the best of me by becoming out of character with the ones who want to love me.
For all you drama fans no our team isn't going through some type of unconquerable struggle for you to run and talk about. Our team is just being conformed into the likeness of Christ 🙂
I love my team and I am beyond grateful to do ministry with them. One of many things i commend my team on is that they are mature in handling things and in every matter they make much of christ. If I were on another team I would feel weird not because i couldn't do ministry with another team, but because j159 has become a part of me. When they are unhappy I am unhappy, when they lack I lack, when they fall short I fall short. No i am not there jesus and they are not my god but my heart, my desire is to love them with an abundance of love. My greatest weakness is not loving them with that abundance of love that they deserve.
To: Becky Arce, Isaac Berg, Carrie Eason, Amie Gaellgos, Jordan Johnson, Vanessa Morga
I Richard Bowman love you guys and I am so grateful for all of you 🙂
