It’s hard to put the past 9 months of my life into words because words just don’t seem like enough.
I saw broken families stuck in a religion that they didn’t believe in while in Thailand. In Cambodia, I fell in love with orphans who had nothing, yet were the most joyful, God-fearing children I have ever met. Their child like faith inspired me to find my own again. I saw children who were stuck in the hardest of situations and so desperate for a love that only a Heavenly Father could supply in South Africa. While in Nicaragua, I met people in the toughest of economic situations simply trying to do whatever they could to provide for their family. They have reminded me that family is forever and to be in a constant state of thankfulness for them.
Words don’t seem like enough because I simply cannot explain some of the things I have seen this year. I can’t explain the deep heartache and the brokenness people all over the world have nor can I fully explain the pure joy and gratefulness so many people I have met possess. Some things can only be fully comprehended through personal experience. The kind of experience that makes everything in you want to help this person no matter what it takes. The kind where all you want to do is be mad at the world because you know the person standing in front of you with not even enough money for food and the kid with no shoes doesn’t deserve the life they’ve been given.
Home isn’t the same place as it was when I left because home to me now means not just one place, but four. Home is a small storefront makeshift house in Thailand and a guest house at an orphanage in the middle of Cambodia. Home is a house of 18 in South Africa better known as the Loveshack and a two-bedroom house in Nicaragua called Casa de Gozo. Each of these places have become home whether it was for just a month, or two, or three. Home is no longer my two-story house in a small suburb in Texas. It is so much greater than that. Home now has a new definition in my book.
Family is no longer just the 4 incredible people I have spent my first 18 years of life with. My family is now my two Thai parents, Pastor and Meaw, and their daughter Ann and my thai friends from church. My family is my Cambodian parents, Sreyvong and Kimeng, who are the parents to not only my little brother Jacob and little sister Hannah, but to all the children in the orphanage who have all become part of the family. My family is Mama and Pastor Richard and my sweet little sister Faith and host brother Tevin. It’s Rudine, my dearest friend from church, and Nobesuthu, little baby Sydney, and Dustin. My family is strong and courageous Kerri and her son Oliver who brightens the entire room with his precious smile. My family is Mama Kaye, the sweetest of souls and someone constantly reminding us of the Lord’s promises. My family is so much bigger than it was 9 months ago.
The Lord has broken me down through heart-wrenching testimonies of the people I have met, yet through those same testimonies has reminded me over and over again of the hope and redemption found in a life with Christ. He has opened my eyes to the deep hurt in the world and even though it would be easier to ignore it, I know I won’t be able to. This world that we live in is a broken place and there are people hurting all over but the beautiful thing is that God works through that brokenness. He finds us in our mess and he brings light to the dark parts of our lives.
Through different situations God has shown me time and time again that we need people. Being able to experience all the hurt in the world first hand wouldn’t have been possible without the people He has given me to do this race with. He has shown me that the people He gives us and surrounds us with each have a different purpose in our journey and they each possess something unique to teach us. God has given us each other to rejoice on the mountain tops together and to cry in the valleys together. One of the best part of it all is that no day of this journey has been spent alone.
Everything is different. A world that once seemed so big has become so much smaller. There are pieces of me all over the world. A piece of my heart in Tak Fa, Thailand. A piece at New Hope Orphanage in Kampot, Cambodia. A piece in Cape Town, South Africa. A piece in El Crucero, Nicaragua. Each piece is something I freely gave away because I knew that no matter the hurt I would experience when the time came to say see ya later, it was all worth it.
I have traveled the world for the past 9 months and have been to more countries in these months than some people go to in their lives. I have made friends and family all over the world who are so dear to me and will always hold a special place in my heart. I have seen true beauty in the form of lush, green mountains in Asia to the bluest of oceans and most beautiful sunsets in Africa to volcanoes in Nicaragua. I have heard stories and have made some of my own along the way. I have seen brokenness and I have seen sorrow, but I have also seen incredible hope and joy at the good that will soon come. I have fallen in love with the God of the universe that knows every detail about me and cares for me as if I were the only person even though there are billions of people on this planet. I have put my heart out on the line because what is this life for if we don’t spend it loving the people The Lord has given us. Loving well and deeply hurts and comes with a price. But over and over again God has proved to me that it is worth every ounce of pain.
