We were asked to write a blog about how we felt before leaving on this mission trip.  Here is what I am expecting…

Honestly, I’m in a stage of somewhat denial. I know, that is not a good place to be. My parents and sister refuse to discuss my leaving so some of the emotions that I would love to feel, I just haven’t yet. My expectations, wow…Oh God, I expect to broken and humbled beyond my imagination. I expect you Lord to use me, to provide me with your wisdom, discernment, knowledge, strength, passion for you and for people. I expect to love like I could never imagine loving. I expect to fall more inlove with my Lord and Savior. I expect to make the best friends I could ever want….friends who are truly family. I expect to be exposed to a sadness and pain that I would never experience otherwise, and more so, I expect to take those moments with me for a lifetime. I expect to hear God’s voice, even when I don’t want to…even when it would be easier to crawl into myself. I expect to be pushed farther than ever before. I expect God to answer my request…take me beyond my comfort zone. I expect God to move mountains before me and within me. I expect to grow in a spiritual way unexplainable. I expect to see miracles, and at the same time, I expect to see disappointment and grief. I expect to have a more controlled appetite…for all things. I expect my heart and flesh to cry out. I expect to make decisions and for not all of them to be correct. I know I will spend nights crying, missing my family, missing my comfort zone. I
know I will even at times question if I have heard God correctly. And I expect to hear the Lord, as I do now, reassuring me that this is truly His will. I expect to grow more independent, more patient, more trusting, and yet more dependent on God. I have never been out of this country, much less done missionary work like this. My heart has desired it, and now I’m blessed to do it. I know that I will be challenged with so many things. I know that in all honesty, this is probably the hardest thing I will ever do; physically, emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically. I expect to never return to the person I am today. I expect our amazing Creator to break me of my worldliness and grow me in Him to shine that through. I expect to be scared, cold, confused, and shy at times. I expect to not live in my own boldness, but to live in the Boldness of the Lord. 
I honestly can’t imagine what any of it will be like. I’m thrilled, excited, nervous, and so humbled. All I truly know, is it’s all for the Glory of God! 
 
  “For I will give you a mouth and wisdom which all your adversaries will not be able to contradict or resist.” Luke 21:15

“So that we may boldly say, “The Lord is my helper, and I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?”Hebrews 13:6