My prayers for the last year have been for God to sift me, for Him to
allow the enemy to sift me, put my faith to the test, to remove all of
me and fill me with all of HIM. I have watched it happen, I have
stayed firm, sometimes falling to my knees, but always standing firm on
His word and His promises.
When I came home in November, I knew there would be some spiritual
attacks, I knew I would be facing something I could not imagine. My
uncle had a stroke months before I came home, my family was right
there, every moment, taking care of him and doing exactly what the
Lord had called them to do. I stepped off the airplane and immediately
went to pray for my uncle, to visit him, and take my place in this
situation. The Lord quickly revealed He had a plan, especially for me,
in the midst of what was going on. He began to use this NEW boldness
He gave me to benefit His kingdom and His children.
Daily there has been a spiritual battle, daily their have been multiple
spiritual battles. I see it, all of it, I see the enemy coming to steal, kill, and destroy.(John 10:10-11)
I see how my family has grown in their faith, they are not the same
people they were when I left. Family members I had been praying for,
for years, are coming to the Lord. My uncle who had the stroke, he is
no longer the man he once was, but he is now giving thanks to the Lord
Almighty!
And in every single moment, in every single thing, the enemy is there.
He is there to make us doubt, he is there to make us fear, he is there
to make us feel like God is not near us. He is there to steal our peace (Rev 6:4).
My family has stood firm on our solid rock (Deuteronomy 32:4).
I am standing firm, I am seeing God work in miraculous ways on a daily
basis, no exaggerations, it’s miraculous daily. And daily the enemy
comes and throws something else at us, at me. The things I have dealt
with since I have been home have been, well in my opinion, ridiculous
attempts from satan to tear me down. And with all of the Lord’s love,
mercy, grace, compassion; with His gifting of discernment and wisdom
and the gift of love, I have made my way through it all. God has
carried me through it all. He is carrying my family through it.
Today, today I am angry, not at the Lord, but at the enemy. For the
last few days I have been in intense prayer for Haiti, for all the
people there, for my dear friends who I have yet to hear from. I have
been in intense prayer for my family and the situations they are all
in. I have watched another family member give his life to the Lord, I
have prayed for a sweet elderly woman who hasn’t slept in 2 years
because she has a prowler the police cannot catch. I have been in
prayer for the health of my family and friends. I have been in prayer
for employment for my family and friends, and in prayer for my church
and the ministries I am involved in. And now I have finally gotten
angry. I am so angry at satan and his constant attacks. He is doing
everything in his power to pull down, break down, destroy, and tear
away the faith of God’s children.
Today I am crying out to God, in a way I do not know that I have ever.
I am humbled and at the feet of Jesus. I have no strength, none, not
one ounce of it, and I rejoice in that, because
“But he said to me, “My
grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that
Christ’s power may rest on me. That
is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in
hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I
am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Today, tomorrow, and every day for all of my life I will stand firm, for the word of God says, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today” Exodus 14:13
There is a mighty power the Lord has
released and is continuing to release and there is a righteous anger
that fills my heart and anger which allows love and compassion to
overflow, a righteous anger that pulls me closer to the Lord. So, sift
me, sift me like the coarsest flour, for all I desire is to be one with
the Lord, so sift me.
