I often have a fear of what others think of me. Therefore I would rather hide my true self from others. Well needless to say this month I have begun to come out of my shell more. I feel very comfortable at the house we are staying at. The hosts are amazing and so good to us. I feel like I am free to be myself. My childlike faith is coming through in many ways. I have broken out in dancing and singing crazy songs in the back of a pick up truck. In those moments I don`t really care what others think. I just go with it. I am free to be me. Yes I may be judged by some people but I am learning to let that fear go. God made each of us differently.
“If the true self is hiding, the false self takes over. The false self is the self that is conformed to the world (Rom 12:2) The false self is the self we present to others, the false front if you will, that we put up for others to see“ (Dr.Henry Cloud)
I am learning this in ministry too. Just the other day I volunteered to do my testimony at a drug and alcohol center for men. This alone is hard for me as I would rather not have to speak in front of others. I wasn`t sure what to expect and was quite nervous, but I felt God saying this was my time to speak so I was obedient to that. I prayed for God to give me the words and as always he did. I spoke from the heart and told my story of freedom and victory through God. There was only 2 men there at this time but I hope and pray in some ways they were impacted. We are planting the seeds and God is in control of what happens after we leave.
Just recently we did some evangelism and met a couple guys who live on the street. They literally live on the side of the road on cardboard boxes as their beds. They are most likely drunk or high. The two guys I remember the most were both drunk. One was quite rude and wanted nothing to do with God and told us he was going to hell. He didn`t want his friend to talk to us and began cursing at him. His friend was a Christian and knew about God. The one guy who was a Christian began walking up to us and began sobbing. He told us he didn`t want to live this way anymore and wanted to change. He was so upset and he said amongst his tears that he wanted to stop drinking too. We put hands on him and prayed peace and victory over him from all addictions. We prayed that God would change his circumstances. By the end he was better and a little calmer. His friend walked over to us and began apologizing to us. Another one of the men there came up to us for prayer and was crying too. It was so amazing to see how God is working. Even in these times I have to come out of my shell to try and communicate to people. Just sitting with them can be a gift. Evangelism can be hard for me but I am learning to let go of that fear and let God work through me and others.
God is working because just a few days later a few of my team mates ran into the same guy and talked to him. He is now sober and has moved to a different park. He was invited to spend the day with the pastor of a church and attend church on Sunday. He was so excited for that. God is working!!!!
