God shows up in dry times

This blog is from Sunday March 6

So on Wed March 2 we got on a bus for our 7 hour bus ride back to Quito for our squad debrief. It was a long ride but relaxing and a time to think about the past month. We arrived in Quito and got to our hostel. It had nice beds and hot showers:) The little things in life we miss in the past couple months. The next 5 days were days of relaxation and debrief with our squad leaders and squad parents.

Well sure enough on Thursday morning I wasn`t feeling well already. I had some dizzyness and nausea. I later that day also had diahhrea. Yes the fun of travelling. We had an altitude change coming from low in the jungle to 10,000 feet about sea level in Quito. It hit me quite hard. Then on Friday I got somewhat of a cold and cough again. I thought well at least we have flushing toilets and good beds.

On Thursday night we had a time of prayer and worship. I was feeling like I wasn`t in a very good head space. I was there but not really. We were worshipping and I felt I couldn`t even sing as I wasn`t feeling very close to God at that time. Later that evening we had some time with our team for prayer. As we were praying over one of our team mates I got hit hard with nausea and had to bend over to let it pass. My teammates laid hands on me and prayed. I sat down and after awhile realized that it was a spiritual attack of the enemy. He was doing everything possible to get me down. I already had felt the past couple days like my heart was heavy. I felt distant from God with so many distractions around me. We had wi-fi internet, lots of restaurants and good shopping. So instead of spend time with God I spent time doing things I enjoyed. I had queit time with God one morning of the 5 days there. It was a constant struggle to get time with God as things kept coming up that I could do. I was struggling to find joy in reading the word as I did the month in the jungle. I kept thinking where is the intimacy with God. In my heart I wanted it but found it hard to make time for it.

One of the nights we had some teachings on the kingdom of heaven and what it looks like here on earth. We were then told to get comfortable and close our eyes. We were told to envision what we thought heaven looked like. At that moment I had this perfectly clear vision of me standing before God as a little child. God is on his throne and I am standing there and at that moment he reaches out his arms and invites me to come to him. I go to him and he picks me up and puts me on his lap. He wraps his arms around me and hugs me as his child. I started crying at that point realizing that He loves me regardless. At that point he takes me to some of the rooms in his house. The rooms are: beauty, acceptance and love. Just a few of them. I again realized God was speaking to me at that point.

So I guess to sum it up I realized that it takes a lot to keep focused on God with all the distractions of life around you. While in the jungle I didn`t have those distractions so found it easy to make room for God in my life. I yearn for desperate and child like faith in God. I want to be at that place of intimacy with my father God at all times, not just in the jungle.

It was another stepping stone for me realizing that during the dry times God is still speaking to me. He wants more of me and I just have to be open to that.

In a few days we leave for Peru. We have long bus rides ahead of us and long days of travel. We are going to be in a city called Trujillo. The second biggest city in Peru. We will stay at a children`s home that is under construction for the month. Our ministry will be helping with that construction, evangelism, visiting the daycare and possibly going to the dump to work with the people there. Please pray that we are open to whatever God is leading us to do.