Well we arrived safely in Mwanza Tanzania after a long bus ride. I finally saw Africa as I had pictured it would be. Lots of dry land and open air with trees. It was beautiful. We are staying at a beautiful guesthouse. We even have our own ensuite bathroom with a shower and flusing toilet. Yes these things may seem so trivial back home, but in Africa they are a blessing. I came into this month and was excited. I know there is a lot of healing that I am going to come through but I also knew it would be a new beginning in many ways.
When we got here I right away felt peace in this place. I found a place that God and me could connect and be together. And yes God provided time for me to be with him and not miss out on ministry. Our ministry didn’t start till 2pm so I have all morning to be with God and start weeding out things in my life and getting my true identity in Christ. Thank you Lord for supernaturally providing that time.
Well needless to say I got right down to business in the first few days. I found a place to be still and had some great worship with God. I sang out loud to worship music and let God speak. I started to look around me to see if anyone was listening to me. Oops, I thought to myself, it doesn’t matter if anyone is because I don’t care what they think, but only what God thinks of me. That crept in pretty quickly. BUT God showed me that the first thing to strip off of me is shame. Wow what did you just say God? He wanted me to let that go in many areas of my life. I let that sink in and the next day I had a great vision of him opening my heart and ripping out that shame. GONE!!!! No more shame:) I am not ashamed of God, or of who I am!!! Heck I listen to worship music and sing out loud not caring who hears. I know that God hears it and that’s all that matters!!!!
Instead of going into details of what God put on my heart for everything that he ripped out of me, here is a list of things that God took off of me. As I was going through this list I saw myself climbing a tree and sitting on the branch, BUT the branch broke as there was too much weight. God was saying let that weight go and I will carry you. So little by little I got lighter and could stay on the branch.
1. Shame
2. Bitterness
3. Control
4. Selfishness
5. Pride
6. Jealousy/envy
By the 3rd week here I felt my weight get less. I could now envision me climbing that same tree and going out on the branch, BUT the branch doesn’t break. God had stripped away a lot of stuff and now I am truly seeing my identity in Christ.
I am the BRIDE of Christ, I am LOVED, I am BEAUTIFUL, I am the APPLE of his eye. This is who I am and the world is NOT going to shape me anymore.
Here is a picture of us in our Kenya outfits:) Thanks to Peter for the picture!!!
