I'm coming home.
There, I said it.
For the past week I think I've been living somewhere between denial and delusion. But it's really happening. In fact, right now I'm sitting in the Nairobi airport with one flight already down and three more days of travel ahead of me.
[11 months ago ready for my flight to launch. Looking fresh & excited!]
Ministry on the race is over. Final debrief has happened. The ratty clothes I'll never wear again have been left behind for people who really need them. And I'm standing on the cusp of a new season.
As I stand here on the edge of what's next, I find myself in a strange place – a place of not really knowing what to say. I think I thought that I as I ended my race I would be full of beautiful, deep, inspirational, super spiritual things to say. I think I thought that I would come home sparkling and shiny , with nearly a year's worth of awesome experiences, adventures and lessons radiating off of me.
The truth is, radiating is the farthest thing from how you could describe me right now. I'm coming home looking pretty shabby… even after my shower this morning there is still a residual layer of dirt I can't seem to get off of my skin. I'm going to need to be scrubbed down with a brillo pad the moment my feet touch the ground. Friends picking me up at the airport – I won't blame you if you drag me straight to the airport bathroom and clean me up a bit before you let me go anywhere else. Just a warning.
[Heading to month 8 and the continent that shot my personal hygiene.]
And as for having super insightful things to say… don't get your hopes up. I feel like I can barely wrap my mind around ordering a latte this morning, let alone convince myself that this travel day ends in the US and not another third world country where we will do ministry. This morning in the airport I considered taking a roll of toilet paper from the bathroom to shove in my purse in case I needed it later when I realized… that's not necessary any more! We are headed back to the land of plenty. Weird.
My brain feels empty. My emotions seem to have stopped working. How do I feel about this transformational season ending? How do I feel about coming home? How do I feel about what's next? I don't really know.
But I do know that I'm ready. And it's going to be good. If there's anything I've learned this year it's that the One who walks with me is trustworthy.
And so while I might not know what to say to you about it…
I'm coming home!
Catch ya on the flipside.
