This is embarrassing.
A couple of weeks ago I came home from work and I was REALLY craving Thai food.
No problem – I live steps away from the best Thai place in Indy and I *might* have their number saved in my phone. I contemplated picking up the phone, ordering my usual and enjoying a lovely evening on the couch with my favorite dish. But as I rolled the idea around in my mind I convinced myself that: a) I didn't need to spend the money, and b) I should eat something healthier. So I settled in for an evening at home with the groceries I already had.
You know how when you're really craving a particular food nothing else sounds good except that one thing? That was my delimma. I rummaged around in the kitchen and settled on my favorite hummus and chips. It just tasted ok. Twenty minutes later I remembered there was some delicious birthday cake ice cream in the freezer. Score! A few bites later I gave up on that too. So I ate some peanut butter. And some more chips. And then, in a desperate effort to crush my craving, I ate a ridiculous invention of pizza-nachos. Gluttony much?
Miserable, I threw myself down on the couch with a stomach ache. Yeah, I think I ate too much.
After all that, my belly was uncomftorably full, but I still wasn't satisfied. And in an effort to squelch my craving, I had filled myself with so much stuff that wasn't good for me, that I didn't even have any more room for the one thing that I actually wanted. I laughed out loud at what an idiot I was.
As I was lounging around later that evening, I began to think about how I foolishly try to satisfy cravings with the wrong things all the time. And not just cravings of the culinary kind. Aren't we all guilty of it?
We crave intimacy and so we throw ourselves into a relationship – sometimes even the wrong relationship.
We crave affirmation and so we work hard, we dress up, we put on a really good front.
We crave fulfilment and so we work our way up the ladder, or we fill our homes and lives with stuff that our money can buy.
And deep down, we know…
That we crave intimacy because we were made to live in an intimate relationship with the Father.
We desire the total affirmation and acceptance that only comes with freedom and surrender.
We long to be filled becasue there is a Spirit just waiting to fill us.
It's so simple. So why is it so hard? As I enter the final month of preparation for the Race, I am working on satisfying my cravings with their source. Whether it's food or something deeper, I don't want to fill myself with junk in an effort to quench a thirst that is pure. Here's to drinking from the true Source. Join me?
