I kind of thought I was finished with abandonment after the World Race.
Not that I planned to live in excess for the rest of my life… quite the opposite. I always thought I’d continue to live a lifestyle of abandonment, but I thought I was finished with the lesson of abandonment. I guess I thought that because I’d walked through it once, it would always be easy after that.
Right.
It's become obvious to me in the last couple of years that lessons and growth seem to be cyclical. So naturally, I've come back around to abandonment. Dangit. So, at the risk of sounding trivial, I'm just gonna be real. What I'm choosing to abandon at the moment is lifestyle. The life I hoped for and dreamed of and thought I would have after the Race isn’t where I’m headed in this next season.
Don't get me wrong, I’m excited about moving to Gainesville and working for Adventures, I really am. And it's what I wanted to do after squad leading… mostly. But choosing this thing that I know is right, I know is good and I even know that I want is coming at a cost. A cost that, despite knowing better, feels big right now. So here's what I'm abandoning (at least for now):
city life
I love the city. I love the energy, all of the people, the hustle and bustle, public transport, being able to walk to a coffee shop on every corner, exciting things to do at every turn, culture… I feel alive in the city. Pre world race I lived in Indianapolis, a city of 1 million, and was dying to move somewhere bigger. And I had every intention of moving to one of my favorite cities in the US when I returned.
But instead I’m moving to Gainesville, GA. Population 33,000. It's a great place, but it’s still kind of a tough pill for me to swallow.
Some of you think I’m crazy. Some of you reason – well, Atlanta is close enough. Some of you think that’s silly or inconsequential. And you know what? In light of eternity… it is. But it's still a desire that I really want, that seems to be starting me in the face. A desire that I'm choosing to put aside for the moment becasue I believe the Lord has something better in store. Something that wasn't necessarily my idea, that I can't imagine exactly how it's better, but something that's good becasue it's from Him.
The other thing is…
money
It's no secret that I'm not going to be raking in the big bucks at Adventures in Missions. And my new salary is going to require a change in way I used to spend and manage my money prior to going on the World Race. Before the Race I did well enough to live a pretty comfortable lifestyle as a young, single person. I had a good income and got to spend my money however I wanted. Money just wasn’t something I had to think much about.
So now, making a fraction of my previous salary, and having to fundraise a portion of that salary seems like a pretty big change. Especially when great job openings keep getting sent my way by all kinds of people.
So here's the thing: I’ve always talked a big talk about money not mattering to me. I’ve declared how confident I am in the Lord to provide for me, been flippant when people have voiced concern about having to fundraise for your salary, and boasted of the abundance I live in as a child of God. And I know all of that stuff is true. I know it. So now…
I’m finding myself having to walk the walk.
And live in abandonment to the things that I want that compared to the bigger picture,
just don't matter that much.
I'm choosing abandonment, but really, I'm choosing so much more than that. I'm choosing to trust that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. I'm choosing promise and trust and abundance. I'm saying yes to the good things that the Lord has for me, even if I don't know exactly what they are yet.
And it's good. And it's worth it.
But it's still hard.
And that's ok.
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I am still raising support to be able to start my new position with Adventures in Missions. I am in need of partners who will support my position through monthly financial donations. To reach my monthly goal I just need 12 people who are willing to give $50 a month. Would you come alongside me?
If you are willing to be one of those 12 monthly supporters, could you please let me know by contacting me here or giving me a call. Thank you!
To set up an automatic monthly EFT payment click here.
To donate on-line with a credit card, click here.
To learn more about Passport, the program I will be working with at AIM, click here.
THANK YOU for your support!
