I'm not really sure how to describe exactly where I am right now. It's a good place. A new place. A big place. I think the easiest way to let you in to what I'm experiening is to just let you see a page from my heart – a peek into my journal.
3-27-12
Day 172
Lord, I'm sitting in a coffee shop in VIETNAM right now. Last night I sat in a dirty alleyway on a little metal chair sipping a fresh fruit smoothie from a street cart and chatting with girls I love. It's hard to wrap my mind around. I'm just sitting here overwhelemed–
by this life I'm living
by your love for me
by the transformation I'm expereincing
by your love for the nations
by how broken the world is
by how you use broken people to heal your broken world
by the memories of the last six months
by the thought of the five months ahead
by the dreams you're placing in my heart
by the knowledge that those dreams are impossible without you
by the weight of your spirit and your love
by your very heart
Many times this month I've suddenly had to fight off tears that seem to come out of nowhere. They're not tears of saddness. Not tears of joy, exactly. They are the tears of a daughter just trying to grasp and hold on to and sort through everything you've given me. I'm realizing I can't really understand it all, I can't hold it in my hands or my brain, so I just have to sit and rest in it. At random moments I'm hit by the weight of it and my chest gets tight and tears prick the back of my eyes and all I can do is take this giant breath and rest in you. And it's overwhelming. But it's so good. Thank you for meeting me and speaking to me this month – in a coffee shop, in an alleyway, on the shores of the South China Sea, in my bedroom, in an orphanage, in the middle of a crowded street, on the back of a moto… thank you for overwhelming me. Because you are nothing less than overwhelming.
So that's where I am. In this place of abundance. Of being totally overwhelmed by the goodness of the Lord and all that He is calling me into. I've recieved a lot this month. Words, dreams, pushing and pulling and being romanced by the heart of the Father. Vietnam has been a really special pit stop in my relationship with the Lord. And I'm so thankful to be so overwhelmed.
