“Something’s different. There must be something in the air. Maybe it’s in the water. Maybe it’s in the food. Maybe it’s the ninos. Regardless, something’s different here. I love every bit of it. My heart feels so alive in Africa.”
“We stopped at a church and met so many ninos! They immediately clung to me! There were so many of them they almost knocked me over. I was exhausted, jet lagged, thirsty, and hungry, but wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else. My heart is so full.”
These are a few of my last journal entries I made while in Uganda. Unfortunately, a decent chunk of my month was spent bed ridden, too sick to pick up a pen. Falling sick on the race is a gruesome task. The enemy attacks. Lies of unworthiness speak into many facets of ministry, self-value, and so much more. I knew I was sick of being sick. Every month. I just wanted to get better. To get to the part where I could dance with ninos and soak up every bit of this glorious life. On Wednesday January 25th, to my extreme surprise, I was told I needed to go home. I was told my health was not in a place to endure the rest of the race.
Before I continue, I want to make it clear that this is not a story for self-pity, victimization, blame, guilt, or anything else that is not of the Lord. This story, my story, is all His story. This story is being told to give all the glory to God.
Let’s just say when this conversation was originally being had, I was, to put it plainly, a wreck. My heart was ALL in. I was called. I was growing. Listening. Learning. Loving. How can you send me home? And then I spent some time with the Lord and He reminded me that He has His Hand in everything.
I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.
John 16:33
I was overwhelmed by His presence.
I was immediately faced with two opposing decisions. The first one that I saw, which I’ve chosen many times in the past, was anger. To place blame and accusation. To channel anger towards unhealthy habits. The second, to just give it to God. To my surprise, I easily chose the second one. I was too exhausted, too heartbroken to chose anything else. The plan was to ship out on Friday in order to give me enough time to (attempt) to get a grasp on the situation (still have not mastered this), say (extremely hard and incredibly painful) goodbyes, and get in touch with people back home.
Being there and being gone at the same time was unbearable. I had to fight with every bit of me to stay present and to keep pressing into the Lord. I described it as trying to run underwater.
So when the Lord told me I wasn’t leaving until Saturday, I wasn’t a happy camper. Then the Lord gave me this vision. The vision was of Him encouraging me to tell my story. I’ve told my story several times before, but this time it felt different. I rolled my eyes and said, “We’ll see what happens with the flight.”
Well, I couldn’t get a flight out on Friday—only Saturday. I see you, Jesus.
“Okay Jesus. You want me to tell my story? Holy Spirit you’re going to need to haul bum because I have zero strength to do anything.”
After the change of plans, the new plan was to spend a few hours alone with the Lord and then get baptized, because it’s the freaking Nile River, that’s why.
And as they were going along the road they came to some water, and the eunuch said, “See, here is water! What prevents me from being baptized?” And he commanded the chariot to stop, and they both went down into the water, Philip and the eunuch, and he baptized him. And when they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord carried Philip away, and the eunuch saw him no more, and went on his way rejoicing.
Acts 8:36-39
Throughout all of this, I did not let the enemy win in the slightest. I felt like I was karate chopping the crap out of him. And let me tell you, he was PISSED. I was burned on a boda (motorcycle) to the point where it blistered to the size of a golf ball. In 72 hours, I got a total of four hours of sleep. I took sleeping pills, asked for massages and back rubs, tried sleeping in hammocks, on couches, alone, surrounded by people, nothing worked. It got so bad, that it was making me sick. Friday morning, after my awesome hangout sesh with JC, I stood up to an irregular heartbeat, feeling extremely faint, dizzy, overheated, nauseated, you name it. He tried everything he could to bring me down. His greatest battle was trying to stop the baptism. I was so exhausted I struggled to function. All I wanted to do was sleep. Twenty minutes would have been fine!
“Regina, you don’t have to do this. If you’re not feeling up for it, if you’re heart isn’t in the right place, you don’t have to do this.”
“I have to do this. The enemy will NOT win!”
I turned into a full on Jesus warrior. I rallied the troops and headed down to the water.
Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.
1 Timothy 6:12
Not only was I baptized, I in turn was privileged enough to baptize one of my favorite women of Christ, Paige (who also baptized me!). I felt immediate peace. I rested in the Lords truths and I fought the good fight. As I walked out of the water I could feel the enemy’s rage in his defeat. The thing he hates the most: people getting baptized in water. Breathless, I said, “I’ve never felt more like a warrior.” It’s so true though! I’ve never felt more of a spiritual warrior in my life.
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith.
1 Peter 5:8-9
So here I am: The Final Battle. Time to tell my story—whatever that looks like. The plan was to have “Girl Time” after dinner and end no later than 9:30 so people can have free time.
Here’s where the enemy comes in. Transportation was extremely late and it looked like we weren’t even going to be able to start until 9:30. The person in charge started to panic and, with all my newly baptized tranquility, I told her to shrug it off as the enemy. He doesn’t want any good to come out of this heartache.
Lets pray it off. Lets pray over the space and our hearts.
For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments are every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
2 Corinthians 10:3-5
In those three excruciating days, I managed to press into the Lord, get baptized, tell my story, and find some sort of closure.
But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
1 Cor. 15:57
When we belong to Christ, the enemy never has the final word over our lives. We are secure in God’s hands.
Press on—courageous and free—never held back by fear or defeat. The battle belongs to the Lord, and He has the final victory.
