Dear Mom & Dad,
I haven’t seen you in 7 months but in just one week you will be joining me in Rwanda for a week long visit on the mission field.
My level of excitement is beyond written words. I can’t wait to reunite, share stories and to show you a glimpse into the parallel universe I feel like I am apart of.
However, I am nervous too. I am nervous because I have changed. I have changed in ways I probably don’t even realize, but I know I will seem different. You know that glow people get when you get into a new relationship? All you want to do is talk about the person and your whole world seems like it revolves around this “new someone.” This is kind of how I feel and I can’t wait for you to meet him.
No he is not from Africa, and no I am not leaving the race to runaway with some man I met. I am talking about Jesus. You might know his name, maybe a little bit about him, and his background story, but let me tell you he has changed my life and I am totally in love. I knew I would find him along this journey but our relationship has completely transformed my life. Don’t get freaked out by the ways I put him first, because truly he is my number one.
My love for Jesus is far greater than I could have ever imagined. My reverence for the Word and his stories are something I depend on every day. God’s opinion matters more to me than anyone else. I go to him with all my thoughts and emotions. I put him over my friends, my daily activities and my family too. He speaks truth into me, he tells me he loves me and shows it in his actions. When I speak to him, he speaks back & only gives me encouraging words. He does not judge me or condemn me. He lifts me up.
I feel like I have known him for years and years. I have gotten to know his character and fall in love over the years, but this is different. He has taken me to deeper places of his heart, to places I never knew existed. He has walked me through hard parts of my past and healed wounds of pain.
He guides me in wisdom in my next step and I trust him with everything.
I never knew a relationship could exist like this, but I believe that from this change in my heart and soul I will look different on the outside too.
I may not look like I am glowing because of all the dirt and grub after not showering much for 7 months. My life might look a little messy, but it is a reflection of the time and effort I put into finding Jesus in each country. I don’t have much to physically show for our love, only small scraps and memories. I have holes in my clothes and dandruff in my hair. My most valued possessions are my probiotics, and my staple piece of fashion is the pair of chacos on my feet.
So when you see me don’t expect perfection. Don’t expect me to have it all together, but know that I have been changed. I have a full heart and testimony after testimony of Gods faithfulness in my life. I have a family full of believers, sisters and brothers all over the world. But most importantly I have thousands of answered prayers, the most important being the two of you.
You are parents who love and care for me beyond anything I can comprehend. Parents who support me to backpack for a year off fundraised money. Parents who raised me to stay strong to my values and to love everyone in this world. Parents who are coming all the way to Rwanda just to hug and kiss me for a couple of days.
I pray this is a time where you cannot just see the world I live in, but see this world through Jesus eyes. I pray your hearts are open to getting to know Jesus in the same way I have and letting his love transform you just as he has with me. I can’t wait to see you both and I thank God everyday for the love he has poured into you, to give to me. It is true sacrificial love & I feel privileged to see Jesus through the both of you each and everyday.
Love your favorite daughter,
Regan
P.S. I know this blog is super corny but I really do mean every word of it and I am counting down the days till I see your faces!!!
