When Regan, my sister and best friend, asked me to write a guest blog, I felt honored, scared, and excited. I felt honored because one of the people I most respect and love in this world asked me to share my voice in her space of intimate expression. This blog has been one of the only ways for me to see my sister change and grow during a year of profound, life-changing experiences. I have been moved by the things my sister has written about in this blog, but never have I been surprised. People who know Regan in any setting know that she is hilarious, intelligent, beautiful and absolutely real. She truly sees a person for who they are, and not for how they can serve her. When you talk with her, you know how special and unique this feels. She is also probably the most organized and dedicated person I know. When she sets her mind to something, she is going to get it done early and well. So seeing how committed she has been to serving others and God this year has been breathtaking, but also not surprising because this commitment is so true to her core.
While my sister and I are very close, we have had different experiences with our faiths. I wanted to discuss some questions that I, along with many others who are not as religious as Regan, have likely had when thinking about Regan’s year abroad and return home. How do I approach this new dynamic that exists, with my sister a strongly devout Christian and myself, an agnostic who isn’t compelled by one faith tradition? Will my relationship be different with Regan now that she has committed so thoroughly to a life of Christ? Will we be able to connect like we used to after a year of transformation on the World Race? I knew I needed to address some of these questions in this blog post, which is why I felt nervous. These aren’t easy to answer. To give you some background on my faith journey, I have gone from casual Catholic growing up, to a devout Catholic in high school, to a near-atheist (if that’s a thing) most of college, and now, a believer in something greater but by no means compelled by a single faith tradition. As my sister has grown in her Christian faith, I have questioned and developed a much different spiritual understanding of the universe.
So how do I approach this new dynamic with my sister? I think there is no better way than to have an excited and curious attitude. I am excited to listen to all that she has experienced and soak in as many lessons she has learned during this year. I have literally dreamed about reuniting with my sister and hearing about her experiences. I don’t want her to just share her service work with me, I want her to share all of her spiritual experiences as well. It is my job to let her talk with an excited and curious attitude. How could I not after all she has done? And if anything, this will likely spark some of the best conversations we have ever had.
Will my relationship be different with Regan after this year? Yes and no. After such an impactful year serving others and God, how could she could not have changed? I’ve also changed from my life experiences over the past year. I know this year will forever change Regan, which will cause relationships to evolve (maybe in a more drastic way) as they always do. But I also know she is the same person who left the U.S. a year ago. I’m really looking forward to reuniting with my sister to see how she has grown, but also just to be around the person who laughs at the same weird jokes as me.
Will we be able to connect on a spiritual level if we believe in different things? Realizing how central Regan’s relationship with Christ is, I’m nervous that we won’t be able to connect on the subject of spirituality. I don’t know if this is my own cynical sense that she won’t be able to be truly open about how I want to experience faith. Maybe it’s because I’m scared shes ‘sooo’ Christian that there won’t be room for questioning or debate. But then, realizing it’s Regan, my sister and best friend, I know we will be able to talk about it all. I know Regan is nervous about the opposite: returning to her friends and family who aren’t as Christian as her. “Will they think I’m weird for believing in something so fervently? Will my life go back to going out on the weekends and feeling hungover the next day?” No matter how much Regan has changed and matured over this year, think about how foreign and daunting the West and even her home will feel upon her return? This is probably terrifying. So while we all may be unsure how exactly our relationships will change (or not change) with Regan when she returns, we all owe it to her (as she does to us) to talk with open and curious hearts about everything that has happened this past year. If that’s how we approach this exciting reunion, then our relationships with her can only deepen and improve. It’s also a great mentality to have in life when meeting or talking with anyone.
More than any questions or concerns I have, I just miss my sister. I’m sure those at home reading this miss Regan too. There will be time for long discussions and debate, but I’m most looking forward to just watching a movie or walking the dogs with my sister. Regan’s coming home soon!
