I am reading a book called A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller and it is all about how to write a good story. What does that mean? What does a good story entail? This book is not ultimately about how to become a better writer (although I should read a book on that too) but it is on how to become a better writer of your life. God is our author, he create us, the character and he has a story of his own that he has written out for us but he gives us freedom in that story. First of all, isn’t it beautiful that we get this freedom from God? I am in awe that no matter what we decide God never stops writing or pursuing our stories. He always wants us to succeed and gives us grace when we take a wrong turn.
Anyway, I have been waking up asking myself, am I writing a good story for my life? The book has taught me that a good story is all about character transformation. So here I am the main character in my story pondering my decisions, the other characters, the enticing incidents, and day to day meaning of what I am writing for myself. I have not come to any conclusion on what my story is about or have found an overwhelming theme, but I am reflecting on the direction of what I want my story to look like.
I want my story to be full of adventure. I want my story to be full of love and curiosity. I want my story to be simple and relational. I want my story to be a courageous story.
I would never have chosen the word courageous to describe my life or me or my story but God has put this word on my heart this month. I started to do some digging to really understand what a courageous story might look like and how to start writing a powerful narrative. Before I did any research on the word I would have described courageous as brave. I think of people in the army or world leaders as courageous. They have made big sacrifices and accomplished big scary things. However, what I found included so much more than being a brave soldier.
This word courageous first came to me because my world race squads “song” or anthem is “Take Courage” by Bethel Music & Kristene DiMarco. The lyrics go:
slow down, take time
Breath in He said
He’d reveal what’s to come
The thoughts in His mind
Always higher than mine
He’ll reveal all to come
Take courage my heart
Stay steadfast my soul
He’s in the waiting
He’s in the waiting
Hold onto your hope
As your triumph unfolds
He’s never failing
He’s never failing
To be honest I never really understood what it meant to “take courage”. Aren’t some of us just born with that quality? Why would we have to be brave if we are just waiting for God to reveal something to us?
After listening to Brene Brown’s Ted Talk on vulnerability I felt like I finally got a better understanding of what courage truly means.
“The original definition of ‘courage’ . . . is from the Latin word ‘cor,’ meaning ‘heart.’ And the original definition was to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. And so these folks had, very simply, the courage to be imperfect. They had the compassion to be kind to themselves first, and then to others, because, as it turns out, we can’t practice compassion with other people if we can’t treat ourselves kindly. And the last was they had connection, and—this was the hard part—as a result of authenticity, they were willing to let go of who they thought they should be, in order to be who they were, which you have to absolutely do that for connection.”
https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability
So in order to live with courage, it means walking through vulnerability. WOW. “The courage to be imperfect”. I realize that my life has been many things but courageous. Being vulnerable is something I have always valued, but my life story has been a story of “perfectionism”. A life of hiding behind my accomplishments, success and involvement. A life where I want to “have it all together” because I am afraid of showing who I really am. I have been facing the fact that I am just a normal human being, with some amazing life experiences and relationships but at the end of the day I am no different or above anyone else on this earth.
There are not many people I can think of who are living in courage. It is hard to find someone who is completely authentic and vulnerable, living life with an open heart. We all have the potential and choice to live courageously and that is the beautiful freedom that God has given us. We can always change the direction of our stories.
Courage came to my mind once again as we were assigned to work with special needs kids at a foster home called “Courage”. They named the home based off of the scripture Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
I think about the ayas (caretakers) who left their families to live in a small room and take care of these kids on a 24 hour shift every single day. That is courage. I think about the foster parents who are young adults in their 20’s who fly across the world to live and care for these kids with every bit of love and energy in their heart. That is courage. I think about the parents who decide to adopt a special needs kids, taking on the health and extra challenges to care and love for little ones who are not their own. That is courage. If we look at our life choices we might find that we are brave, we make sacrifices and bold decisions but are we making those choices with open hearts and being vulnerable to others? If not, we are not living courageously.
So my mind goes back to the question, “what story am I writing for my life?”
If I want to live a courageous life I must make that choice everyday. A choice to live with my heart open. Living in vulnerability takes practice & I am on the perfect journey to start that practice. Through my decision to leave home, to write this blog, to give all my heart to these kids when I know it will be so painful to leave, to open up to 6 girls who are new in my life, to share my faith with a Muslim or Hindi… I can start to see how God has called me to step out & be courageous even in these small actions. I know that I am capable of living a life with a completely open heart because God is with me every step of the way (Duet 31:6). Who knows where my story will turn this next year but I am excited to keep writing & discover what God has already written for me.
I encourage everyone to ask this same question… “what story are you writing for your life?” Is it a story of courage?
