Wow hello what is UP. I bet you thought you saw the last of me (;
I am currently down in Gainesville, Georgia leading a group of 7 women of the Lord! I’ve been here almost a month- which means it’s been a month of living in a tent, a month of living in the great southern outdoors (I prefer northern weather tbh), a month of growing as a believer and as a leader, a month of just literally sitting at the feet of God. WOAH. Can I get an amen for that last part?!
Anyways so yeah that is where I’m at, and I’ll be living here until about a week before Christmas. I am the team leader for 7 beautiful ladies- Hannah, Grace, Kate, Esther, Alex, Sophia, and Abi. I love them a whole flipping lot, and it’s only been like 2.5 weeks! It’s such a blessing to watch and be a part of this journey God’s taking each of them on; it just blows me away with awe for him whenever I sit and think about that. I promise to write a blog that’ll explain what I’m actually doing down here, my role, and my day-to-day… coming soon! Right now, I want to share with y’all (lol I can’t believe I said that) my ~fighting style~.
For a large part of my Christian life I’ve firmly believed that fighting for the Lord means I need to physically take action, that I’m responsible for doing something. On my race God would often speak to me in battle terms. He’d tell me I need to put on the armor of God, stand firm in the faith, fight for the Truth, and actually pick up the sword of Truth and USE it. All of this is so good and so true, but I began to develop the mindset that the outcome of each battle depended solely on my ability to wield the sword of truth (in Ephesians 6, go look her up)…. Who am I to think so highly of myself? God isn’t asking me to be a one-woman army and take on Satan himself; he’s asking me to surrender and let YAHWEH take on Satan and his entire freaking army!
Shortly after I got back home from being ripped off of my race, I was sitting with the Lord and asking him to “suit me up” with his armor. Do you know what he said? He said, “No.”
*crickets chirping*
I murmured, “God I don’t understand.”
As I sat there, I decided to surrender my annoyance, disbelief, understanding and confusion to him. After I did, he showed me a vision of myself: I was standing tall and strong, coated with the full armor of God- shoes of the peace of the Gospel, shield of faith, helmet of salvation, belt of truth, and the breastplate of righteousness. In my left hand was the sword of the Spirit (the Word of God, Jesus Christ), held high with all the confidence of a seasoned soldier. But as I looked on, I witnessed a hand come and strip me bare of all my armor, piece by piece. The hand set each one on the ground, including my beloved sword. The hand didn’t stop there, oh no! As if the armor wasn’t enough, even my clothes were completely discarded in a pile next to the abandoned armor. There I stood, completely and irrevocably bare before my Beloved, before God. He dressed me in a pure white linen robe, and let my natural hair fall down my back. Barefoot, I slowly got on my knees and bowed low to the ground, hardly moving a muscle. My eyes closed and I began to pray. Out of the stillness of the moment God spoke to me, “This is how you fight now.”
My fighting style is no longer me taking armor and covering up all my imperfections and weaknesses, it is no longer me standing straight and proud, it is no longer me relying upon my own strength.
My fighting style is utter surrender! My fighting style is no longer cutting down darkness and evil by my own will but falling to my knees in fervent prayer. I am called to trust God with EVERYTHING. He desires for me as his daughter and bride to come before his throne as I am!
I hope by the end of this time here in Georgia that my knees are sore from how often I fall to my knees in worship and prayer. To fall to my knees over and over again is so humbling, so loving, and so trusting of God. It’s a surrender of my image and reputation, of my will and pride, of the team that God has blessed me with. God’s in control, HALLELUJAH!
