Sawasdee khaa!
(sounds like “sah-wah-dee-khaah”)
Dang… it’s been quite a TRIP so far, let me tell you! My entire squad is now all together in Chiang Mai, Thailand, after traveling for three. whole. days.
Insane, I know. Let’s just say that God pulled off a lot of miracles during our time of traveling!
This is my first (1) blog post from Thailand, and I can’t WAIT to see what God has in store for my squad, my team (shoutout to team Orah/GWB <3), and for me as an individual. Already the first several days have held a lot of culture, a lot of fun, and a lot of God.
Day 2 (or 3?? I’m losing count already) of living here in Chiang Mai, my entire squad decided to walk through town to a temple complex. This temple complex had a modern-day temple that was active, a temple ruin from waaaay back in the days, and has what is called “monk chats.”
As we approached the gate to get in, I mentally prepared myself for some kind of crazy dark spiritual attack as soon as I stepped within sight of the ginormous gold and white Buddhist temple.
Some of you are probs like, “But Regan, it’s just a building, and we all know that God triumphs anything so why should you be afraid?”
*pause*
Let me tell you something, my friend. I have struggled with spiritual warfare all my life, with the earliest memory going back to when I was 4 years old. The enemy targets me specifically with R-rated nightmares full of death, blood, and unspeakably dark things. Adding to that, one of my spiritual gifts is discernment. Don’t get me wrong this is a WONDERFUL gift… however, I am still in the process of learning how to let God grow me in it.
Not only that, but the long-term missionaries who are hosting us while we’re here had warned us that spiritual warfare looked different in Thailand. Here, your thoughts and mind are what is targeted by the enemy. You might just be minding your own business, doing some grocery shopping, when out of nowhere a thought like You are worthless, why are you even here? will pop into your mind. Once you grab onto this single idea, your thoughts spiral downwards into a mess of even worse thoughts.
When I entered into this foreign country full of idols and spirit houses at literally every street corner, my spirit felt overcome with the heaviness of the atmosphere of this land. Entering into a country full of idols is bad enough, but going directly into the pagan temple’s turf, the center of it all?? That’s a double whammy right there.
*un-pause*
Hopefully now you can see why I’d be a little apprehensive to walk right into what I believed at the time was the enemy’s territory…
So anyways, all 50 or so of us walked into the temple complex (myself included). We just kinda chilled, walking around, exploring, and getting to know the monks who lived there. After about an hour of this, I decided to do a little experiment- I wanted to see if what our hosts had said about the spiritual warfare here was true or not. So, I found a secluded stone bench sitting under a tree, within view of both the modern temple and the temple ruin.
I closed my eyes…. breathed in and out…. felt the warm breeze brush my neck…. and let my mind just drift…..
…….…
worthless.
why are you here?
you don’t belong here. worthless.
go back home.
worthless.
worthless.
worthless.
…………
These thoughts immediately took up the center of my focus. That word though, “worthless,” was the main accusation that was repeatedly branded into my brain.
Rest assured dear friends, I knew this would happen, so I didn’t give a flying duck to any of those utterly ridiculous ideas. I opened my eyes, shook out every single lie, and closed my eyes again.
This time I turned towards God and asked Him what He thought of the spiritual atmosphere of this place. His response was a single word,
lifelessness
*chills*
The temples are full of lifelessness, even though they are decorated with multitudes of beautiful orange and yellow magnolias, tinkling bells, ornate dragons, and gold. The monks do not live their lives with a whole lot of emotion; especially happiness, anger, etc. Even the old temple, the one in ruins, did not last forever… it is now lifeless, reduced to rubble. Bu$$ha, the one they worship, is a lifeless god. He is nothing but a man-made statue. This country of Thailand, called the Land of Smiles, is a land of lifelessness.
Pretty flippin cool, am I right?
After God revealed that to me, I felt the most at peace I have felt in literally weeks, you guys!!! It was INCREDIBLE. I knew I was home; God was within me, and He was all around me! My soul was resting in His presence, being held securely in His hands. In this land of lifelessness, my God is a living and breathing God!!!!
And all the people said, “AMEN!!!!”
Love,
Regan
