Back in January, earlier this year, God began stirring in my heart a desire to go on a mission trip this summer. I started searching for trips to serve on. I looked at many mission trips, and I wondered if each trip I looked at was one I should pursue, but I didn’t apply to any of them. Finally, after a couple weeks of half heartedly thinking about it, I decided to get serious and just find one to apply to. A friend of mine had gone on the World Race Gap Year trip previously, and so I thought I would check if there were any shorter mission trips that World Race offered. That is when I came across World Race Semesters.
World Race Semesters offers several 1-3 month mission trips. I was immediately drawn to the trip to Zambia. I saw that it was in July, the time that I was hoping to go, and I saw that I would be working with children on this trip. Looking at this trip on paper compared to all the other mission trips I looked at it, it didn’t look any different. There were many trips I could’ve chosen to pursue that had both of those things I mentioned, but the World Race Semesters trip was the one God put on my heart.
At the same time I saw the Zambia trip on the website, I was listening to a livestream from The Send. The Send was a collective gathering of believers in a stadium in Orlando. There were many well-known Christian evangelists who were speaking there. As I was listening to the speakers, I began worrying about the logistics of the trip. I knew finances would be a challenge I would face so, as I listened to The Send, I went to check my bank account just to see what I would be working with. (I already knew, but if you check it again, maybe it’ll be different this time, ya know?) As I was seconds away from clicking to look at my bank account, Brian Brennt from the Circuit Riders was speaking about missions and said this: “Some of you want all the details worked out before you go but God walks with you step by step and leads you step by step”. I stopped what I was doing. Some would say that was coincidence, but I was floored. I believe that everything happens for a reason and so I knew God was speaking to me.
I took that information in and continued thinking and praying about this trip. I waited a week or two before I told my parents about it. I obviously had doubts and fears about going, but I told myself that if my parents were supportive, then I would 100% definitely decide to go. Well, of course, my parents were supportive and were excited for me! I, however, started getting scared. I started worrying about everything pertaining to this trip, the finances, getting immunizations and a passport, whether I really wanted to go, etc.
I was facing a lot of doubt, so I prayed. One Friday morning I was driving to work, praying about the trip. As I drove, I went silent, waiting for God to speak to me, which he did. He just gave me the reference “Joshua 1:9”. The bible verse says this: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Here I was, worried and stressed about whether to go to Zambia or stay in St. Louis, and God met me where I was at. He so clearly told me that he would be with me WHEREVER I go and to not be afraid.
Despite these moments of encouragement to go, I was stressed about making a decision. And I was afraid. I thought that if I was scared that I shouldn’t go. I started realizing how hard it would be to pull everything together to go and that worried me too. Through all of this, God used many moments and people to encourage me to not be a slave to fear. The final turning point was when I was talking to a good friend of mine. I was sharing with them my fears about going. My friend stopped me and kindly told me that I was doing everything the Bible was saying I shouldn’t. I was worrying about the future, I was anxious, I was afraid. My friend shared with me the commonly quoted verse Philippians 4:6, which says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
I was struck by what I was being told and really took it to heart. I took that following weekend to fast and pray. And by the time Monday rolled around, I had decided to go. I decided to go because I realized that the only reason I felt I shouldn’t go was because I was afraid. My fear had been causing me to question God’s calling. But as soon as I made the final decision to go, I felt incredible peace. I realized that I couldn’t let my fears dictate whether I believed what the Lord was saying. I chose to take a step of faith and believe he is calling me and that he will provide.
Taking this step of faith is massive for me. There are still logistics that will need to be worked out and there are plenty of things that I could be worrying about, but I am no longer afraid and I am not worrying. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have it all together and I still have moments of fear, doubt, and worry. But I am choosing to not dwell on those things, but to instead remind myself that God is bigger than any problem I might face. He can and will provide for those he has called. And so I am trusting him to provide for me.
“Jesus replied, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done.” Matthew 21:21
Thank you for following along with me on this journey. I appreciate you taking the time to read and listen to me share my heart and the stories of how God is working in my life. I ask for your continued prayers for me in these coming weeks, that I would continue to trust God and that he would work things out and provide for me in his perfect timing. In future blog posts, I will share more about the mission trip to Zambia and the ministry I will be doing there.
