Currently my squad is walking El Camino de Santiago. It’s a pilgrimage in Spain that has been walked for hundreds of years by people from all over the world. Our journey is one of 130 miles over the course of 10 days.
Day One we walked from Pamplonos to Puenta de Reina. 24.2 Kilometers
Day Two from Puenta de Reina to Estella. 21.7 Kilometers
Today is day three. By the end of our walk yesterday I was in a lot of pain. Most reading this know that I’ve had knee problems about as long as I can remember. In 2014 I had surgery on my right knee. Neither knee has every behaved very nicely.
Over these first two days we have gone up and down a lot of elevations changes. Up and down these hills or mountains is quite difficult for me. Counter to most logic if you have never had knee problems, mainly the downward slopes.
Going down requires a lot of control. Since my knee caps dislocate, control is one of my greatest problems. All this to say, my knees have been through a hard two days.
Therefore, this morning I took a bus.
I did not want to. I want to walk the Camino, have the experience, and say that I did it. God hit me with a big realization last night.
All of that was pride. There’s a point where you push through and there’s a point where you admit that it is no longer good for your body to do what you’re putting it through.
I am a fairly tough person. Running cross country 7th – 12th grade trained me for a lot of mental perseverance that I can fall back on sometimes. So, admitting that I can’t do something is hard for me. Because I so badly want to be able to.
It often feels like defeat when I have to step aside or sit down when my knee is bothering me. But, it’s not a defeat. It’s wise. And a lot of this feels like me trying to convince myself right now. Looking for affirmation that I know can only come from God.
I don’t know what the next seven days look like. There’s a good chance I could be taking a bus every day depending on how my knee feels. I hope not. I don’t want that to be my days. But, if it is I’ll continue to love people as I go and do what I can along the way.
