Tim (from my team) put together a list of things that we experienced on team manna these past 2 months. Here is that list.

 

World Race Bathroom Reader, Carribean Edition

Welcome to the World Race bathroom reader, Carribean edition. The World Race bathroom reader is a collection of random facts and experiences that I’ve learned so far on my travels. So whether you’re a missionary, going to be a missionary or sitting at work, I hope you enjoy.

1. When asking for directions, you will always get them even if they’re not correct.

2. A chicken foot does not taste like chicken, it tastes like bone and gristle.

3. The only difference between mashed potatoes and mashed yuka is, mashed potatoes are good.

4. You can calculate how far a kid is from the edge of the roof by timing how long it takes before the urine drips off the edge.

5. You can yell at a child, ignore them and put up barbed wire, but really all they need to do is fall through your bathroom roof and they’ll leave you alone.

6. Breaking a girls heart through a translator should only be attempted as a last resort.

7. The main difference in fried plantanes and fried yuka is three hours prep time.

8. You can make people eat Play-doh, just call it mangu.

9. When riding up a mountain on a lumber truck full of lumber, wear two pairs of pants.

10. In the Dominican hot choocolate involves: roots, cinnamon, crunchy balls, an unknown spice, chocolate, excessive amounts of sugar and 3 hours.

11. In the Dominican, shelling peas involves a bedsheet and a 2 X 4.

12. If you want a banana, hike up a mountain 30 minutes…and bring a sharp knife.

13. Don’t get sick, because the clinic’s probably open but the doctor’s not there.

14. Motorcycles are family vehicles, taxis and cargo transport.

15. Computer viruses have been known to take over small villages without the aid of the internet.

16. To calculate Dominican time add 30 minutes to projected time.

17. To calculate Haitian time, don’t bother asking just take off your watch.

18. You know you’ve been away from home too long when you do a double take when you see a white person.

19. It’s never a good idea to day dream while riding on top of a moving bus, power lines and tree limbs can be detrimental to your health.

20. Fish eyes are hard.

21. While at the beach in Haiti you may find all or one of the following: cow on the beach, fishing net in the ocean, piles of old laundry washed up on shoar and locals bathing naked.

22. Unless you have enough food to feed all 200 kids at the orphanage for 3 weeks, do not feed the kids.

23. If a little boy is facing away from the group he might be peeing, if one of his pant legs is hiked up he’s definitely peeing.

24. When using the bathroom in the middle of the night, don’t be surprised to find a man with a gun outside.

25. Rain is exciting because showering in the rain means water pressure.

26. When a bucket shower happens more then once a week, you’re extra clean.

27. Do not put your toilet paper in the toilet, unless you enjoy fishing it out with your hand.

28. Garbage day is when you have a full trash can, a match and half a dixie cup of gasoline.

29. When approaching a 4 way stop, the person that honks their horn and runs through it first has the right a way.

30. Just because kids and old ladies can carry huge buckets of water on their heads, doesn’t mean that I can.

Everything listed in the bathroom reader is factual and has a story behind it. If you have any questions about anything or are just curious about the story behind any of them feel free to email me. Coming in 3 months…World Race bathroom reader, Asia edition.