For so long, I have kept my heart shut off from the world. It was alot easier for me to not care and for me to not open up so that I could avoid the potential of being hurt. There was a period in my life where every part of me was shattered and from then on it was alot easier to shut off. Because by shutting off, I never had to revisit the pains of being so broken. For the first couple of weeks of ministry I was so confused as to why I was not connecting with the kids, I was not doing life changing ministry. And God whispered the revelation that I had locked my heart away from the world. It is now his timing to give me the keys back to begin to unlock the closed parts of my heart. I am already learning that it is okay to be broken. And he is breaking absolutely every part of me. He is taking his hands and putting a whole heart back together. One that is pure and healed with his fingers and his love. He has put the most incredible man of God in my life. Who has been patient and who has supported me through this whole world race stuff. I see evidence of God’s love for me in our relationship. God has given me someone who has helped peel back the layers of my hearts. Through my relationship with Nick he is teaching me to love selflessly, through the world race God is teaching me to love carelessly, and through my relationship with Jesus he is teaching me to love sacrificially. That above all else I chose him and his plans for my life. And if that is being broken for the dying world then I accept it and willingly chose brokenness.
