7am
I wake with groggy eyes. The morning is just beginning, but I already find myself in a pool of sweat from the muggy Thai heat. I take my morning 3-minute shower. The cold water is refreshing. I get dressed at head to morning devotions with my team. My eyes are groggy but my heart does not break.
8am
Our teams head to pray over the red-light district of Chiang Mai and my soul hurts. It hurts to think of the sadness, pain, confusion, and darkness that fills these streets at night. I pray over the bars, the stores, the Buddhist temple. I pray for the men, women, children, and lady-boys that find themselves here night after night. I thank God for His reign in this city. My soul hurts, but my heart does not break.
10am
Quiet time, where my brain searches. Searches for the answers to this cycle of unfulfillment. I pray for clarity to know what tangible good I can do during my month here. I pray for that “one person” I want to find to pour into. I trust that my prayers to an all-powerful God can have a mighty impact on this country. My brain searches, but my heart does not break.
4pm
I walk to the slums and my emotions toil. I know that these precious, innocent children are the prime targets for brokers looking to purchase them to work the streets. I hurt because their families may be unaware of the dangers that await their children, or they may just view the whole process as a means for sustainable income. I play soccer. I toss them in the air. I play rock, paper, scissors and try to follow their made-up games. I search in vain for the two precious girls I met the first night. I pray for their safety. My emotions toil, but my heart does not break.
7pm
Nightly worship begins as my heart is opened. I sing along to song after song. I raise my hands as surrender to Christ’s leading in my life. I join in protective, directing prayer as we set out to bring genuine love to the people at the bars tonight. I am ready to be the hands and feet of God to these people. My heart is opened; it does not break.
9pm
Women are being sold and my heart throbs. It throbs with pain from the emptiness I see on the women’s faces. It throbs with anger toward the men who bargain for what they think these women are worth. It also throbs with sadness for the men who believed at one point in their life that they were not man enough. It throbs for the children who grow up surrounded by this environment, selling flowers, not knowing the darkness that entangles. It throbs with my love for these people. I don’t want to be just another preacher who condemns their lifestyle. I try to show them Jesus through my genuine love and interest in them. I look around at the injustice and pain around me, and beg God to take back what is rightfully His. My heart throbs, but it does not break.
It does not break, because this is not a hopeless situation. It does not break, because I see light in the darkness. It does not break, because I know that my Jesus still reigns in this land. He sees the injustice. He sees the broken hearts. He sees each and every person here. He made them. He loves them. He has a mighty plan for their lives, if only they would give them to Him. He is victorious. He conquers. He rights the wrongs. He is our Abba, our Savior, our Emmanuel, our Jehovah, our Ancient of Days, our Prince of Peace, our Great I Am, our Deliverer, our Saving Grace, our Lord of Lords, our King of Kings, our Mighty God. He will reign in this place. He wins. The end. Game over.
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, Our God Reigns!
“Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” – Psalm 46:10
