"This next month will be the hardest month of your life"
These were the words said to me by my squad leader, Zach, right after training camp. If I had known then exactly what this month would hold for me, maybe I would not have shrugged off his comment so easily.
For those of you who may not know, training camp is what happened about a month ago in Georgia where I got to officially meet the people who would become my 'family' this next year and spend a week growing closer to them as we grew closer to eachother. And launch is what happens for a few days in Georgia right before you leave the country for the year. It also happens to be a mere two days away.
I have far underestimated this month.
It's not just the little things. The constant battle between wanting to see your new squad friends and not wanting to leave your family and friends back home. The excitement and the fear of the unknown that comes with this next year. The small items you forgot to buy. The large item you're hoping to be able to pick up from that one specific store on the way to launch because you can't find it anywhere else. The zipper popping on your packing cube, setting you two days behind packing schedule. Your pack, that weighs double what it should even though you've taken out everything you think you can live without. The tiny spats between you and family you wish you could take back since you won't see them for a year. The cough you're afraid will turn into full-blown sickness, because they don't like you flying internationally while sick. The passport and visa that you don't yet have, hopefully waiting for you in Atlanta. … All these things add up and feel like the weight of the world.
It's also the larger things. The serious fights you have with friends that make you question everything. The unexpected medical issues that cost way more than you budgeted for. The six-hour car ride to correct a problem you couldn't ignore. The knowing that life back home will continue while you're away. People will change. Pets will die. Life will be different. The realization that you have very little idea of exactly what you've gotten yourself into this next year.
I'm reminded of Paul in Philippians 4. "for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."
How much easier would our lives be if we lived like this? Truly learned how to be content in any circumstance? Not making lemonade, but praising God for the lemons. While this past month has been a whirlwind of emotions, I thank God that I've experienced a supernatural calming and peace that can only be from Him (so far… we'll see how I am once I'm on the plane to Georgia). I know I have a lot to learn yet, but I'm so excited that I serve a God that is continually teaching me how to be content and praise Him through every storm and challenge of life. I know this next year will be full of hardships, and I'll have to rely solely on Christ to fulfill and sustain me.
And I'm so thankful for all of you who I know will be praying for me every step of the way. Today's prayer request: For me and everyone on my squad to be able to handle this next week of transitioning with God's peace, courage, boldness, and confidence, knowing that He's called us here for a purpose and has a plan for each of our lives this coming year.
