The Quest for Joy (Part 2)

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
 

How often do we fall into this?  This is possibly one of the most convicting lines in any song for me.  Time after time, I feel as though my time spent with God is a one-way street.  If we're supposed to have this wonderful relationship with our creator, how does that work if we always dominate the conversation?  The first step to knowing God is finding that alone time, where we talk with Him, rather than at Him.
 

I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
 

I've heard a few different explanations about what "fearing" God means.  Some say that to "fear" God is to respect Him.  While respecting Him is definitely an important facet of fearing Him, my problem with that interpretation is that if that's all there is to it, why does it say to fear Him?  Why not "respect the Lord your God"?  Surely we're not supposed to be afraid of Him, are we?  The Hebrew word used is (pronounced yare')  and is defined as to fear, revere, be afraid.  The image this brings to mind is like a hurricaine.  Something so powerful, so amazing, so beyond our human limits, that it both astonishes and terrifies us.  God is so far beyond anything we can understand as mere humans.  So often we put Him in a happy, little box to fit our worldview (see my "My God" blog for more on this).  The second step to knowing God is allowing Him to be as big as He is.  Why should that realization, with our existence in Him, be anything short of terrifying?

If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?
 

Has my Northern/Western-Michigan world view so skewed my perception of God that I would even recognize him if He were to show Himself?  Do I recognize Him in the small, everyday gifts He so graciously blesses me with?  Maybe that's why I feel so drawn to this trip – to leave the comforts of home in order to find the gifts that God showers on me.

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
 

God SPOKE.  And we were.  Think about that for a second.  Seriously think about what that means. 

Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
 

This speaks more into what I stated earlier about how the more I grow with God, the more I realize how little I know Him.  Have you ever stood at the edge of an ocean and just stared into the expanse?  This is one of my favorite things to do, and I have never felt closer to God than when I'm at the ocean.  Specifically, I remember the very last night in San Diego in August 2011, after spending 10 weeks there with cru's Summer Project.  I was standing at the edge of the ocean, up to my ankles, and I was overwhelmed with how big the ocean is, and how little I have experienced it.  Sure, I've boated, swam, surfed, and flown over it, but there's so much more beyond the surface.  Thousands of species of creatures I don't even know exist.  The further you go into the ocean, the scarier and more unknown it gets.  The further you grow into God, the scarier and more unknown He becomes.  Because then you begin to have an idea of His majesty and power.

Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
 

Who is God?  Again, is our view of Him who He really is, or is it just a small picture of a man in a white robe painted by our society?  How often do we really try to sit back and know who God is outside our world view?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
 

This very much documents the first 18 years of my life.  I grew up in Church.  I knew all the Bible verses.  I knew all the right things to say.  But the weren't much more than words.  It's so easy to fall into that ritualistic way of believing, where we go to church on Sundays and say our prayers before bed. 

Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees
 

God is so amazing, I find it hard to believe we can ever stand up.  If you've truly experienced God, you know how hard it is to compose yourself.  Personally, I find myself straying far from this in times of low-Joy.  I hear about God, but that passions eludes me.  This is the hardest part for me to wrap my mind around, because it's not something you can necessarily choose to do.  You can't force yourself to be in awe of something amazing.  It should just happen naturally.  Perhaps I'm just not giving God all the glory He deserves.

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
 

Seriously… amazing.

And a God who gave life its name?
 

Mmmm-hmm…

What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
 

Angels praise him!  We should praise him in ALL things!  Third step to knowing God and finding Joy is to give the praise to Him in all things.  Definitely something I need to work on.

All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?
 

"Jesus answered, 'I tell you, if [my disciples] become silent, the stones will cry out!'" – Luke 19:40  Creation knows the love of Christ.  Think about that.  If we don't proclaim the love of Christ, the ROCKS will cry out.  If we truly, fully understood that love, we would never stop declaring it. 

So what's wrong?  Why does it seem so hard sometimes to keep that mindset?  Why are we not always blown away by the amazing awesomeness that is our Lord?  I know for me, I don't know Him.  And when I stop pressing in and spending time with him daily, I don't understand the complexity of Him.  When you're not standing in the ocean, you forget how expansive it really is, and it seems small, uncomplicated, and uninteresting.  We need to get our toes back into the water daily, and let it wash up our ankles, up our legs, our arms, until we're head over heels under the water.  Then, and only then, can we know God and experience His joy.