this is part 4 of 4 on taking it to the next level. to read parts one, two, and three, click here, here, and here respectively.
I saved this one for last
because I haven’t had words to describe how I’ve felt lately. I’ve been able to talk about what I’ve been
learning and have tried to convey so many things, but I’ve been lacking words
to describe myself. I have this new deep
understanding of intimacy, freedom beyond what I’ve ever felt before, and a
passion to raise up my generation and bring these things to them…but there’s
so much more I want to talk about.
I’m a different person. There’s a whole new me. I’m alive, I’m free, I’m passionate. I’m pressing in because I know that if I
slack off or become complacent I’ll fall and I’ll get frustrated and I’ll be
attacked by satan. I have excitement and
joy, and in order to keep a lifestyle of joy I have to keep wanting Christ, keep
wanting intimacy, keep wanting freedom, keep wanting passion. I have life, and to be able to enjoy that
life fully I need to keep speaking life over myself and not death, to listen to
the words Christ says over me and run fast away from the lies satan tries to
throw my way. I belong to Christ, and
satan cannot have me. The only weapon he
has is words: arguments, pretensions, thoughts…but his words don’t mean
anything to me because Christ is victorious over everything.
Psalm 34:4-5 says “I
sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to Him are radiant, their
faces are never covered with shame.” In my time of darkness, I called out to God –
cried before Him, yelled at Him, questioned Him, and listened for Him to bring
me an answer…and what do you know – He answered me. He always answers me. And He delivered me. He always delivers us. And because of Him, my face is radiant and I
am never covered in shame. My teammates,
my squad, other people I’ve been around here in Swaziland – all of them say I look
different. They can tell I’m not the
same person any more. I have new life in
Christ and it’s evident to those around me, and I am radiant! Wow.
So I’m a new person because
of my renewed life in Christ, and I needed something to commemorate that. Without wanting to get in to theological
discussions or tell you all the minute details of the story, I wanted to share
that I was baptized on Good Friday by a man that I have grown to love and
respect in the backyard pool of another family that I love and respect that
have been living in Swaziland for almost a year now. I was buried with Christ and raised up in my
new life with Him, and it’s such an amazing and freeing feeling that I can’t
even begin to describe.
Right now all I want is to
live for God, to please Him, and to be wherever He wants me to be. I’ve recognized the need for continued
discipleship and community in my life after the world race – it’s how God
created us to live – and I don’t know right now where those needs are going to
take me. There are so many options, but
right now I’m living in the moment just enjoying life and seeking wherever it
is that God wants me.
