so…now that all the fun stories are out of the way it’s time for some of my thoughts on moving cross-country and what God’s doing in my head and in my heart.

one of the reasons i wanted to stay in Michigan was the amazing church i’ve been a part of for the last 5 months and the even-more-amazing small group that i’ve been blessed by. so Monday night, my last night of bible study, after our normal prayer-request-sharing time my leader gathered our small group around me and had them pray over me. totally a God-thing. the time i’ve spent with those girls has meant more to me than any other bible study group i’ve ever been a part of, and i had only known most of them for 5 months or less. girls, if you’re reading this, i’m going to miss you a lot. thanks for everything.

in one of my moments of panic whist driving (i think it was when the “check engine” light was on in my car), i was talking to my mom and expressed that i couldn’t do this anymore, that i just wanted to turn around a come home, that it was too hard. in her calm and rational manner she reminded me that i had felt called to leave Michigan and that God wanted me in Colorado, but that He never said it would be an easy thing for me to get there. i swallowed my self-pity and agreed, even though i didn’t so much believe it at the time (fake it until you make it, right?). through talking to a few people and since i’ve gotten here, though, it’s been confirmed that i am supposed to be here, however long or short a time, and that this is and will be a good thing.

in a moment of less stress during the drive, while i was talking to Caitlin, she asked how i was doing and i started crying (again) and relayed all the stressful things from earlier that day…and her sweet response was “you have faith, right? and you know God is faithful, right? that’s all you need.” oh how simple that sounds. i have faith in a faithful God…so why do i doubt that this is where i’m supposed to be? why do i doubt that He’ll provide a job or some source of income? why do i doubt, period?  faith, as i’ve learned, is a process. He’s not going to give me more than i can handle, and right now even though i think this is way out of my league, He’s saying “I want to increase your faith, I want you to trust ME even more deeply. stop looking to the same people for help all the time, look to ME instead. i can and will provide for you, but in MY way and not necessarily in the way you would like.” okay, God. i’m here. do what You will.
 
so yeah, i’m here and i’m taking things one day at a time.  and God is increasing my faith and causing me to trust in Him and turn to Him more and more each day.