In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. (Proverbs 16:9)
It is this verse that has kept me going these past few weeks. See, most of you have probably noticed that I haven’t written much of an update since long before Christmas, and (I’m guessing anyway) you were wondering what’s happening with me and India. Let me tell you all a little bit of a story before I explain where things are right now.
When God called me to this team, He said I was to be here for the purpose of serving someone else’s dream for a season. I have been to India before, and had always said I would go back, but had never felt called or nudged in that direction at all. When I met Laura Meyers last summer, God opened my heart to the vision that He had laid on her heart, and said that it was her dream I was serving. Since I knew AIM and had been involved with them on numerous occasions, I was eager to get back into the community here in Gainesville and be a part of this huge family. Last fall, when the India Initiative Team was started, we were under the leadership of the World Race program (the trip-around-the-world I had participated in during 2007 and 2008). I know the World Race better than anything else at AIM, since that was where I had previously had the most experience, and it was a natural fit. However, in December our team was informed that we would no longer be under the leadership and covering of the World Race department, but instead under the new Long Term Missions department that AIM is in the process of starting. Honestly, I was excited about this change: I thought a long-term department would have a better understanding of what a “mid-term” length team would need as far as support on the field, preparation before we left, communication with supporters and contacts, and numerous other things. I had confidence in AIM, that they knew what they were doing with these changes, and that God’s hand was in all of this.
I spent some time in Michigan over Christmas and for my sister and new brother-in-law’s wedding at the beginning of January, and when I returned to Georgia things seemed a little different. It was as if all the ministry planning we, as a team, had done before Christmas had been put on hold. It seemed like there wasn’t anything worthwhile for us to be working on because leadership was having meetings with our team leader by herself. The details of what happened are not important; the important thing is knowing that about three weeks ago, our team leader decided to leave AIM because she felt that the direction the team was being pushed to go under our new leadership was in a completely different direction from where the Lord had called her. She broke the news to the rest of us, and honestly, I was devastated. I mean, here I was, called to this team for the specific purpose of serving her dream, and now she was choosing to no longer be a part of the team or the organization that I loved and trusted. I was faced with a tough decision – stay on with AIM (either as part of the India Initiative or in any number of different roles), or leave AIM (and either continue to pursue Laura’s dream or pray about whatever God has for me next). Through a lot of prayers and tears, some time away with the Lord, and some conversations with people I trust and respect, I have made the decision to leave Adventures in Missions as well. This does not mean I am giving up on Laura’s dream – I’m actually looking into (and praying about) still going to India with her, and seeking clarity and direction on how it would look and what God has for me in all this.
Please know that I haven’t made this decision lightly, but that I have complete peace that God does have His hands in all this, that He is, as the verse above says, “determining my steps.” I have grown so much, even in the four short months I have been in Gainesville, especially in my walk with the Lord and my understanding of Him. I may have had a plan for how I was going to get to India, but the Lord is determining my steps – He’s taking this journey and making it His. I had a conversation with a friend the other day (who is going through a similarly difficult time), and she reminded me that life is not about the destination – it’s not just about getting to a place and being there, it’s also about the journey that God takes us on to get there. It’s about learning to trust that His plans and His ways are best, and that He has the best possible course plotted out for us.
Like I said, I am still planning on going to India, and I still feel that God has called me to serve Laura’s dream and that He hasn’t released me from that yet. I have no idea what this is going to look like and no idea how things are going to work out, but I am confident that God has allowed this to all happen for a reason. AIM has graciously offered to hold the support money that has come in to my account and send it to another 501c3 organization, whenever I determine through whom I will be raising money for the future.
I know all of this information will come as a shock to some of you, and I apologize for not communicating more what has been going on. I welcome any questions or comments you may have – feel free to email me or post a comment here if you want to talk through any of this with me or if you are confused about any of this.
I am so thankful for all of you, and am blessed and honored that you have chosen to support me on this journey and believe in what God is doing in my life and through the places He has brought me. To those of you who have prayed – THANK YOU! I have felt and appreciated your prayers more than ever these last couple weeks. To those who have given financial gifts – THANK YOU! You are continuing to bless me and the people with whom I’ll be working, whenever I get to India. And to those who have simply followed along in this part of my journey – THANK YOU for allowing me to invade your homes and your lives, and for being a part of mine as well.
Also, I've started blogging on a new site. Check it out here (freedomreignshere.wordpress.com if the link doesn't work) and sign up to receive updates from that blog!
Thanks again for being part of this journey with me!
Blessings,
Becky
