As the end of my college experience drew close last spring everyone I talked with had to questions for me: “What are you going to do with your life?” and “Are you ready for the ‘real world’?” The obvious immediate answer for the first question was that I was going on the world race, and I would usually follow the second question with an answer something like “I guess I’m ready – I kind of have to be, don’t I?”
Let me tell you, though…I don’t think I was really “ready” for the “real world.” Life after college isn’t really what I expected (maybe due to the World Race, but I don’t think it’s be anything I was expecting if I was at home either). So many things in my life are different right now from what they were eight months ago. I don’t have any of my friends from home around and am instead living 24/7 with people I met in person all together 4 months ago. I don’t have the community of my college around me anymore. I’m not able to worship at either of the churches I’ve been a part of for the past two years. My family is literally on the other side of the world. I went from a fairly ordered/structured life at college to a very scheduled life at camp this summer to a completely open/fluid/unscheduled/sporadic life on the world race. Everyone said that life after college would be different, but I don’t think I was really prepared for this.
I’ve resisted this for the past four months. I’ve been longing for a schedule, sometimes frustrated by the lack of planning that seems to happen. I’ve wanted hugs from people that are back home instead of taking them from people here that are usually super ready to give. I want to go to a church service that is completely in English with worship the way I like it and sermons that I theologically agree with. But that’s not my life right now. It’s different “here.” It’s hard. And sometimes it’s just plain weird.
But this is the life God has called me to right now. He’s called me to something different, something that is difficult for me. This is definitely a new season in my life, a time to depend on God when everything around me is changing – He is my constant. This is the time He is using to teach me how to trust Him to provide since I can’t depend on anything I was used to at home. And it’s hard. It’s stretching me. Sometimes I feel like I want to give up and go home because in my mind I think it would be so much easier (even though I know that “home” isn’t really what it used to be either)…but God called me to this life because He wanted me to grow and learn a whole bunch of things, and so I continue on in this journey. And with God as my Guide I’m super excited about the next seven months and beyond.
