I’ve been struggling with a really big decision lately – like a moving-across-the-world caliber decision, a picking-a-missions-agency-or-person-to-go-with type of decision, a what-in-the-world-am-I-thinking kind of decision. And yesterday I went to church (yes, that is kind of a rare occurrence for me lately between working and traveling – I’ve only been in this church for Sunday morning services a couple times this whole summer) – anyway, at church, I had a revelation (as we were reading from the book of Revelation – go figure). An epiphany, if you will.
God doesn’t care which choice I make. Either one will glorify Him. And either one would satisfy my desires. He just wants me to love Him above all else and to seek Him above all others. As long as I return to my first love, He will bless me. he wants what is best for me and He will bless the decisions I make.
And then this morning I was reading from a fantastic book “Come Away my Beloved” and came across these words: I will not let you fail. What? Seriously…did I just read that? I mean, this shouldn’t be that profound to me, this shouldn’t be something that takes my breath away or knocks my socks off or anything like that, but that’s kinda what it did today. It literally took my breath away, made me stop and think for about a half hour – just about the fact that God is going to bring me to things, that He has planned situations and circumstances for my life, and that, through His strength, He will not let me fail. (Seriously, I journaled a full page on just those six words, and probably could have written more). Through whatever trials or temptation I may face, He’s not going to let me fail. Whatever hardships may come my way, He won’t let me fail. Whatever steps He has called me to take, and whatever steps I take in faith, He isn’t going to leave me hanging – He’s got great plans for me and won’t let me fail.
Then I turned the page, and there was this one little word: “only.” Uh oh, a condition to this “not letting me fail” thing that I’ve been stuck on the last half hour. Then I realized that it’s not too bad – the reading just reminded me that I need to trust Him, that I need to be open to whatever He may have in store for me. He’s not going to do a big work in my spirit, or in my life, if I’m stuck in a place of unwillingness, a place that I’m not open to His working. He totally wants what is best for me, wants me to succeed at everything I do, and all He asks me to do is trust that He knows best. Trust that He has plans to prosper me and give me hope and a future. Trust that He loves me. Trust that He won’t let me fail. Trust that He will sustain me trough any trials I may face. Trust that He is, He was, and He always will be. Trust that He is God and I’m not.
So I prayed a little more, sat in His presence for a while, and sent a couple emails – a “yes” and a “no” – and I feel at peace. I know that the attacks are going to come, that doubt will probably rear its ugly head, that fear of failure and fear of the unknown will probably try to attack, but I have the peace of God and I have the assurance that He loves me and He will not let me fail.
God doesn’t care which choice I make. Either one will glorify Him. And either one would satisfy my desires. He just wants me to love Him above all else and to seek Him above all others. As long as I return to my first love, He will bless me. he wants what is best for me and He will bless the decisions I make.
And then this morning I was reading from a fantastic book “Come Away my Beloved” and came across these words: I will not let you fail. What? Seriously…did I just read that? I mean, this shouldn’t be that profound to me, this shouldn’t be something that takes my breath away or knocks my socks off or anything like that, but that’s kinda what it did today. It literally took my breath away, made me stop and think for about a half hour – just about the fact that God is going to bring me to things, that He has planned situations and circumstances for my life, and that, through His strength, He will not let me fail. (Seriously, I journaled a full page on just those six words, and probably could have written more). Through whatever trials or temptation I may face, He’s not going to let me fail. Whatever hardships may come my way, He won’t let me fail. Whatever steps He has called me to take, and whatever steps I take in faith, He isn’t going to leave me hanging – He’s got great plans for me and won’t let me fail.
Then I turned the page, and there was this one little word: “only.” Uh oh, a condition to this “not letting me fail” thing that I’ve been stuck on the last half hour. Then I realized that it’s not too bad – the reading just reminded me that I need to trust Him, that I need to be open to whatever He may have in store for me. He’s not going to do a big work in my spirit, or in my life, if I’m stuck in a place of unwillingness, a place that I’m not open to His working. He totally wants what is best for me, wants me to succeed at everything I do, and all He asks me to do is trust that He knows best. Trust that He has plans to prosper me and give me hope and a future. Trust that He loves me. Trust that He won’t let me fail. Trust that He will sustain me trough any trials I may face. Trust that He is, He was, and He always will be. Trust that He is God and I’m not.
So I prayed a little more, sat in His presence for a while, and sent a couple emails – a “yes” and a “no” – and I feel at peace. I know that the attacks are going to come, that doubt will probably rear its ugly head, that fear of failure and fear of the unknown will probably try to attack, but I have the peace of God and I have the assurance that He loves me and He will not let me fail.
Stay tuned for more…I’ll try to give some details about what’s going to be happening in my life in the next months – there are a lot of changes coming and I’m really excited about what God is doing in me!
