In a lot of ways, my race has already begun. I already look at things with a different perspective in light of my impending departure. When I encounter a difficult situation I have a thought in the back (and sometimes the front) of my mind: “I’m sure this is a lesson I need to learn before I leave.” The time I spend with the people has become more meaningful. The things I have been putting off have suddenly become harder to put off. I make more conscious decisions about enjoying the places I find myself. I am more intentional with the Lord because I know we are about to spend some serious quality time together in a setting which will not lend itself so easily to my avoidance of Him.
I’ve also gone through a long list of emotions since I started applying for the World Race in October. It started in a flood when I read the email announcing the new routes for this year because I knew I was going to go. Now I’ve hit on a new one. I looked down the barrel of the gun and I am afraid. I sat down last night and tried to get a rough idea of what my car might be worth in September. This is the first car I bought with more thought than just the necessity of wheels in a hurry. The radio works and I can fit lots of people and potted plants and suitcases in it. And I’m going to sell it. The idea of that isn’t so bad, but it wasn’t the idea I was hit with, it was the reality of it all. In some ways, the stress of trying to raise money and find the gear I need is a distraction from the fact that I’m leaving. This time it wasn’t a distraction. I know this is another one of those lessons I’m in the middle of learning about trusting the Lord. This is my first step in giving my fear to Him.
The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9
