It’s hard for me to wrap my mind around how much time has passed. Days tick by, sometimes quickly and sometimes slowly, while the months simply seem to be flying by. It’s about time I catch up this blog!
So. After Frutillar (which is in southern Chile), my team caught buses heading north through all of Chile, through Santiago, all the way into the Atacama Desert. There we met up with our entire squad, and all of our coaches, in San Pedro de Atacama, Chile for debrief.
Now, debrief only happens a few times throughout the entire World Race. It is a time that is strategically placed to allow us to process what happened, to grasp our new lives and realities, and to help us grow to become even more effective at serving other people and cultures around the world.
Upon arrival, I immediately got sick. I ended up staying in bed for three (almost four) of the five days we were there, only really leaving the room to go to the doctor. And it was one of the best things to happen to me.
You see, God had been calling me to Him. Specifically, He had been making it abundantly clear that I was to ask Him who He said I was… and I knew that. You can even reference my post about training camp- my identity has been a struggle for a long time. I kept placing it in fleeting things… It was hard to know which parts of me lasted and were true.
For the 2-3 weeks before debrief, He had been calling me to ask Him. He told me to stop trying to force my ideas of who I thought I should be, and to just ask about who He created me to be. And I always pushed it off, making the excuse that I didn’t have time, as I knew it would be a long conversation.
But then, I got sick. And while I honestly didn’t feel well enough to move (or get out of bed), I was filled with energy and couldn’t sleep. And then I knew why I had been given so much energy amidst my cold… God was giving me an opportunity to ask Him. So, I did: “God, Who do you say I am?” … and a four hour conversation started.
He walked me through who I am, my passions given to me by Him, my aspirations, identified my home church (Flatirons Community Church in Lafayette, Colorado!!!), and -most surprisingly- who I am not. It at times was painful to hear, and other times it lifted a great weight off of mislead expectations I had placed upon myself. It was profusely powerful.
As a singular example, He told me that I am not independent. For those of you that know me well, you know I have clung onto this as part of my identity for basically my entire life. It was a blow to my ego for the Creator of the universe to tell me I am not capable of being totally independent. However, He then told me I am strong independently. He made it clear that while I am capable of navigating things powerfully on my own, I was not created to live outside of community. And to be honest, it was a huge relief. Before the World Race, I had been living on my own, and had been doing everything on my own. I didn’t make space to welcome people in. I even kept my closest friends at an arm’s length away… and it led to the loneliest, most isolated season of my entire life. And while “I did it,” and “I achieved everything I wanted to,” I felt like I was just trying to survive every single day.
I will gladly forego an independent life if in return I gain the ability to experience an abundant life. And I know that being in a healthy community means personal submission, vulnerability, and servanthood, which are not for the lighthearted and require sacrifice, but I will gladly choose to partake in those if it means I get to walk through life with a solid group of people. We were made to be in community, to be in relationships with others. We suffer when we try to navigate life alone.
I am capable of doing things independently, and doing them very well, but God never meant for me to make it a lifestyle. He set me free from an expectation I had placed upon myself, and I have already seen it begin to mend relationships in my life. I am expectant and excited to see this flourish.
…And the best part? That was only one thing God shared in those four hours. The rest of the list is extensive. It was life changing. It was inspirational. It excited me for my future. It made me feel much, much more at peace, and significantly more whole. Even in a city that I hardly left my bed in, I left it a very different person than I had entered it five days prior. What an incredible answer to prayer… and it all occurred because I got sick!
On another note entirely, on one of the last nights in Chile, I felt well enough to join my team stargazing in the Atacama Desert. We saw constellations, planets, stars being born, shooting stars, the Milky Way, nebulas, star clusters, red super giants (dying stars), and the Southern Cross (which allows you to navigate via the stars). It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life, and I wanted to share this photo with you all:
***Location Update: My team, Team Burrito, has just arrived in Baños, Ecuador after almost 40 more hours in buses (and a 17 hour stop in Guayaquil, which is a breathtakingly beautiful city).
We went from [Frutillar, Chile] to [San Pedro de Atacama, Chile] to [Cusco, Peru] to [Lima, Peru] to [Guayaquil, Ecuador] to [Baños, Ecuador]… I have a lot to catch you all up on!
***Fundraising Update: I have, including monthly donations through November, raised $15,073!!! What an absolute blessing it is to be 81% FUNDED!!!
Our final fundraising deadline is November 30th, 2018 and I need to raise $3,527 more before that time. This will leave me fully funded THROUGH NEXT JUNE so I can continue traveling the nations!!
P.s. “Adventure days” like stargazing in the desert, climbing Rainbow Mountain, or going to Machu Picchu, are not paid for by y’alls donations. Those funds come from my personal money. Donations go towards our transportation, lodging, daily food budget, and other things to help us survive as minimally as possible. We currently each live off of $5-12USD/ day (which can vary country to country). Just wanted to make that known!!!
