It was the summer going into my sophomore year of high school when the Lone Star State and I began to formulate a relationship. Now, it was one of those “love-hate” relationships but it worked and He works all things, am I right?
In 2008 my mother lost her job that allowed us, as a family, to be well off. We were in private school, actively played in year round elite sports clubs and traveled when we could. We had a gorgeous home, car, good meals, and thrived. The three of us had it made. Of course money wasn’t the core of who we were but it helped to make living a breeze. And then BAM! We went from being well off to living on someone else’s property in a family friend’s trailer. We didn’t have money for sports, new school clothes, shoot, even food some nights. My mom did all she could to search for a job, provide, and trust that the Lord was still at work in our lives. At some point He spoke to her and she listened. He said, “move to Texas” and so we went.
Texas… oh, Texas. In hindsight I can see all the good, the lessons learned, and the richness of growth in myself due to this move but it was not an easy process to get here. I hated this move. I thought my life was over. All my friends were gone. Everyone that I knew, loved, grew up with, and my chosen family just left behind in Southern California. I felt misunderstood coming to such a foreign place. The sun was different. I was land locked. (And for those who say Texas has beaches, you’re crazy, go explore more.) I lost myself. I grew extremely depressed. I felt so alone. I had no idea how to begin to find myself again. We started somewhere though.
The summer we moved I did a volleyball camp at my new high school. I was bullied by a girl who ended up telling me my senior year that she felt threatened by me and thought I would be taking her position hence her inexcusable demeanor. I did not end up playing volleyball at that school but I got involved in something far more fitting. I fell in love with athletic training. I found a niche of people and an outlet to submerse myself in that would help break the ice in meeting new people. I was figuring out who I was again, and more of who I wanted to become. I loved this side of Texas. An obsession for sports no matter the age, gender, or sport. They always go BIG! As an athletic trainer I got to run out on the field and aid with countless injuries, do some PT, and tape up several of my favorite athletes. I learned so much and found people I loved while doing it. I will never forget my coaches during my move. They quickly became a safe space and later on, family. I flew through high school jumping from new groups of friends, to parties, to athletics, to boys, I feel like I experienced it all. I never really found my niche. I knew I was different. I just wanted to fit in and feel accepted. It’s high school. Who doesn’t want that?
Then we found a church. A church that served a purpose but is no longer a place we call home. This church took my religious spirit and turned it upside down. Regardless of us, and the reasons for leaving said church I will say this; I moved to Texas knowing about Jesus but now I can say Texas taught me to have a relationship with Jesus. It was in Texas, in a small nondenominational church that I found my first love. I rediscovered what it meant to be born again. I found my passion for missions, outreach, and just being a hard core evangelist anywhere and everywhere. I found my spirit, my voice, my drive, and my purpose in life. Our now home church is so lively and kingdom focused! I am so grateful God brought us there before this next chapter in my life. I am deeply rooted in love with some of those folks and I know they will continue to pour into me and challenge me in this next season.
Texas is never going to be my home. Texas was a really hard transition for me. Partially because I did have to be vulnerable in everything and really put myself out there again, but also because it was so new and over and over again I will admit I was not ready for it. Texas also made me stronger, wiser, and fiery. I truly can see first hand how God does work everything for His good! Without the struggle, sacrifice and strength to overcome I do know I would never really know Jesus like I do now if it wasn’t for Texas. And I would do it all again just to know Him more.
~written in love by your local gypsy
