(Some of my Passport team our first week here in Ometepe, me: bottom middle)
Today I walk the shores of Isla Ometepe. My team is a few yards behind me practicing handstands on the beach and singing Broadway show tunes. Oh, how I love them. I stand with my toes in the black volcanic sand and look out over Lake Nicaragua. It looks more like an ocean than a lake. I can’t see the land on the other side, but I know it is there. That thought reminds me of faith.
I dig my toes into the sand and sing songs of faith to the wind hoping it will stir the seeds of faith within me like dandelion seeds.
I have been here in Nicaragua for three weeks. Four remain. And I hate to admit to this… but there have been times where I have struggled to be present here on this island because of thoughts of the future and what comes next. What will my life will look like come August? My current response to that question stands at, “I have no clue”. And that has pulled my eyes away from the 20 college students Lynn and I are leading here or the 24 beautiful children that are so willing to crawl into my lap every day and pronounce my name with a lovely rolled “R”. Rrrrrrrrebecca.
This is what I do… I sit at a table covered with a feast that is sweeter and more savory than any I could ever have thought up myself. At the table with me are incredible, beautiful and marvelous people that all received an invitation to the feast as well. And I look at these people and this feast and think to myself, “Hmmm, I wonder what I will eat at the next feast and who I will be dining with?”. And while I am wondering this, my mouth is full of the delicacies that have been placed before me and a dozen scrumptious conversations are unfolding all around me. But I am totally missing out on them… these sweet moments that the Father has prepared just for me. This life He dreamed up for me.
And I know that I am not the only one that does this. It is just how we have been wired in our culture of “what’s next? And will it be better/more exciting than now?” Sometimes, we ask for the check before the meal has even arrived; “Dear waiter, I know I came here to dine, but I need my check with that food. I have approximately 22 minutes until the next event in my life takes place, the 9:10 showing of a movie that I will forget before breakfast tomorrow.” Or think of all the TV series that flood through our plasma screens… “Was this week’s episode not interesting enough for you loyal audience? Well spoiler alert… Here is next week’s preview where we will allude to killing off 5 of the main characters!” It even seems like now Christmas carols are being played right after Halloween, skipping Thanksgiving and the feast and focus of thankfulness completely. Moving on.
But here in Nicaragua, I find myself in a culture where life awaits for meals to be properly delighted in. A three hour exchange of ambiance, relationship, glass-bottled cokes, warm and savory food and a bill and hour after that last nibble has been consumed (but only upon request).
This culture breathes in the present.
The kids we are living with here on this island, the poorest from the poorest nation in Central America, they welcome dozens of new people into their hearts each year. Knowing these people will eventually zip up their rolley suitcases after smashing their dirty clothes into space saving bags and board a ferry towards their comfortable homes. How do this kids do it?
How did they choose to love me from the moment they met me?
Tackling me and yelling in broken English, “Wat eees jour name?” All the while knowing that just like all the other times, I would eventually leave? And I think it is because for the present, they have a new friend to play with, and new funny name to learn to pronounce and a new hand to hold. And for now…that is a lot.
And as I stare out over the Lake Nicaragua waves, I ask God to help me be more like these little children. To help me feel the beauty in every precious moment He gives and to enjoy it with the precious people He has placed around me on this island. And I thank Him for loving me even when I am too distracted looking ahead that I miss sweet orphan smiles, volcanic island sunsets and moments of watching my team walk into deeper levels of freedom than they have ever experienced. All of these breathtakingly beautiful moments that He strategically set up in advance just to bring joy to my heart.
He is teaching me here on this island to enjoy each day. No, each moment really. And that everything else after that is His burden to carry. He is God the Father after all. Who else knows better what His children need?
I look to my right on this shore where one of the most perfect volcanic peaks in the world towers over the island. But at the moment, it is completely obscured by cloud cover. The clouds stretch from the first palm tree rooted in dark volcanic sand to the smoky sharp peak like a cumulus veil. It is one of the most magnificent views known to the human eye, and at the present moment you would never even know it was there.
(This is about what it looked like, with the clouds beginning to lift)
And I feel the Father next to me ready to teach that way he does, “On earth as it is in heaven…”
“Does the presence of the clouds change the reality of that volcano? Do you believe that once the clouds lift there will be a giant volcano there?”
“Um, yeah. Of course.”
“This is faith, daughter. Right now you may look at your future and just see cloud cover. But know that there is a tangible plan and path I have set aside for you. Just like this giant volcano, it is impossible to miss. It is a solid substance that is not changed by the presence of some clouds that keep you from seeing what lies behind them. There is a purpose to the veil of clouds I have covering what I have for you next. I put them there. And for now your eyes can clearly see out over this exquisite lake, and they are free to look undistractedly over your team and the 24 children I have hanging all over them like a jungle gym. And when the time is right, the clouds will lift. You’ll see.”
Faith.
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for. The evidence of things unseen.”
Hebrews 11:1
Hey all! Thank you for reading my blog! I hope it blessed you and encouraged you wherever you are. Our Father is good and He loves to provide for His children! With that being said, I wanted to let you all know what I am in need of your support. I need $1,000 to fulfill the cost of the trip I am leading out here in Nicaragua. If you feel lead to support me, please click on the “Support Me in Nicaragua! Please :)” tab to your left below the fairy tale castle picture of me. Thank you and thank you!
