I spent the majority of my life being fearful of making decisions on my own. Constantly worried that I would make a bad one and that my life would be doomed (dramatic, I know). The fear was certainly real. I felt it was imperative to run decisions by multiple people and get their advice. Often not even really wanting to make the choice myself but just go along with what others thought was best. This lasted up until a couple of years ago. Unable of making decisions for myself and consumed by worry and fear. An all or nothing, everything is permanent attitude.
The first big decision I remember making on my own and at the age of thirty-three was to buy a car. My current one had been run into the ground and so, I went to the dealer and bought a new one. I put that decision off for years and had asked the opinions of others multiple times. When I purchased the car, I didn’t tell anyone what I did… I just did it… I broke the news to my sister and friend at dinner later that night by saying, “I made a decision.” They were quite shocked as my normal back and fourth routine didn’t happen this time.
Big decision number two. The World Race. I had heard about the world race eight years earlier from a dear friend. When she first told me about the race my heart began to burn and I immediately felt like I wanted to do it. But of course, fear set in. Fast forward eight years, I called that same friend to talk. I was having a hard time and I wanted to get her advice. As Jenny began to pray for me the words “World Race” popped into my head. In those eight years I had never once researched more about the opportunity. As soon as I got off the phone with Jenny, I googled World Race and was brought to the Adventures In Missions website. Two days later I put in my application, one week later I had my interview and one week after my interview, I was accepted on the race. So, I made a decision… to quit my job, break my lease, sell as much of my stuff as possible and leave everything/everyone I have ever known for an 11-month, 11 country mission trip.
You may be wondering, where is she going with this? Well… I’ve made another decision. But first, let me give you some of the background. At the end of month nine, we got to experience PVT (Parent Vision Trip). After nine months away from our friends and family, we got an opportunity to have our parents come out and visit with us. Spend several days doing life and ministry together in another country. Our PVT took place in Antigua, Guatemala and it was absolutely amazing. I loved every moment with my mom. We got to talk about different experiences on the race, we asked each other questions, spent time laughing, did ministry together, ate meals together, got massages. What can I say, she spoiled me! Never did I ever think that she would come all that way to be with me. She sacrificed her time and money just to come and serve along side me. “Lee Lee” is pretty great that way! She’s a big fan (heehee)!
One day, after morning ministry, we arrived back at our hostel. Deon, one of our PVT leaders, was sitting alone. I took my moment… I went up to him and said I would love to speak with him when he’s not busy and he replied that he was free now. Deon joined my mom and I at a table and I began to ask what was next for me after the race? What were my options? He proceeded to spend the next thirty minutes or so sharing ideas and speaking hard truth. He ultimately told me things I needed to hear but really didn’t want to hear. Like… go home, find a job to pay down your debt and wait for the Lord to show you the next move. I shared with him, during month three (in Cambodia), I found I has a passion for teaching English. I felt I was to take the TEFL (Teaching English Foreign Language) course and teach abroad. He said that was a good plan and that while I’m working at home and saving for the TEFL, I need to be obedient and God will show me the next step. I wasn’t sure why, but going home, staying and finding a job didn’t seem like the next decision for me.
I didn’t have much time to reflect on the conversation with Deon and my mom. Later that evening, I received a message from my former host in Cambodia. She had asked how long I had left on the race and shared there was a need for a Director at the primary school I taught at just months earlier (where I first felt a passion to teach). My heart was racing and bursting. And since teammates and parents were all together for PVT, I got to share the message with them right away. I first showed team Haven (my first team on the race and who experienced Cambodia with me) and quickly after showed my mom. The ladies of team Haven were ecstatic and Lee Lee teared up and got chills. How incredible that my teammates and my mom were with me the very moment I received that message! God’s perfect timing per usual. Just when you feel like your running out of time and options, He shows up in unexpected ways.
So, I had a decision to make and I’ve made one. After a week or so of messaging back and forth with my host about details, I accepted a long-term missionary position to become the Director at Ace American Academy. I will be making the move to Phnom Penh, Cambodia in February 2019. I have no idea how this next chapter is going to unfold, but I am confident that I am being obedient to where God is leading. To be honest, I think I’m still in a little bit of shock. How is this even possible? I never thought I would ever leave the states, do an 11-month mission trip to 11 different countries, let alone move across the other side of the word to serve as God’s hands and feet in this capacity. I just want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart! Thank you, truly doesn’t seem enough. You all have encouraged, supported and loved me every step of the way. I hope you will continue to pray as I prepare for this next journey. I will update everyone shortly with ways to continue help supporting my journey and this new chapter.
Here’s to taking another leap. Love to all!
Xo,
R
