There’s a song written by Steffany Gretzinger and Amanda Cook called Out of Hiding (Father’s Song). The first verse allows us to hear our sweet Abba’s voice as He calls us out of hiding. “Come out of hiding you’re safe here with me. There’s no need to cover what I already see. You’ve got your reasons, but I hold your peace. You’ve been on lockdown, and I hold the key.” When I listen to these lyrics my heart begins to burn. Jesus wants me to know I am safe with Him, there is no shame, no blemish and no sin that can keep me from Him. There’s no need to hide. Ever. He sees me exactly as I am and I am fully accepted. He wants me to trust Him with all the things that make me feel disgusted with myself. He wants me to give it all to Him and to let it go. He wants to free me from the bondage that I can continuously trap myself in. He holds the key to my chains. They have already been broken. I am free because He chose the cross for me. “Cause I loved you before you knew what was love. And I saw it all, still I chose the cross. And you were the one that I was thinking of when I rose from the grave.” Where else can you find that king of love? An overwhelming, sacrificial, perfect, limitless, never-ending, all consuming love.
As I come back to this entry I started on July 17, I am currently consumed with anxiety. A physical internal shaking is occurring in my body. I came to lay down and felt a pull to write. To take time and talk to Jesus, to come to Him and share intimately. I reread the entry I had started weeks ago and I found myself impressed by the words on the page. At this very moment I am overwhelmed. There is a strong pull to hide, to curl up under the covers and let the negative feelings and thoughts hold me captive. These words on the page come hesitantly as I write. Do I want to reveal myself so openly?
Fear is something that quickly can take hold. The doubts come in. How am I going to do this? How will I not waste the next few months before I launch on this incredible new venture? I am afraid that old patterns of self-destruction will take me hostage. It scares me that I am so comfortable with this behavior, these feelings, these thoughts. They are like an old friend, who I know is a bad influence, doesn’t share truth, yet, I feel comfortable in this relationship. It’s hard for me to stay away at times. This is not what I desire for myself. I desire to break off from those ways of coping. This is meant to be a time of joy, excitement, hope! To be expectant! To trust Jesus hears me and is with me. I can so quickly forget He is my defender and provider. I feel as though it is my responsibility to do all this on my own. There’s an overwhelming pressure that time is running out. The fear of self-destruction and failure is heavy! How will all this come together? Moving, packing, fundraising, blogging, taking care of myself physically, training… where will I live these next few months, how will I see all my loved ones before I leave, how will I cover the expenses I have while I’m gone… the list goes on.
But stop! Stop, Rebecca! Listen… find truth. “Now rid of the shackles, My victory’s yours. I tore the veil for you to come close. There’s no reason to stand at a distance anymore, you’re not far from home.” There is a battle going on, my mind wants to shut down, go blank, rather than continuing to reveal my struggles and weaknesses. Weaknesses! But strong chains that keep me bonded to fear. What will people think of me? Jesus, what do you think of me? What do you want to share with me? “I’ll be your lighthouse when you’re lost at sea. And I will illuminate everything. No need to be frightened by intimacy. Just throw off your fear and come running to Me.” Rebecca, listen! Come running to Me, I will light your path, don’t be afraid to reveal yourself, throw off your fear and come running to me. “Cause I loved you before you knew what was love and I saw it all, still I chose the cross. And you were the one that I was thinking of when I rose from the grave. Now rid of the shackles, my victories yours. I tore the veil for you to come close. There’s no reason to stand at a distance anymore. You’re not far from home. Keep on coming.” Jesus, you’re calling me, just as you called me out into this new journey. You won’t leave me. You’re here with me. You have broken my chains. You pursue my heart, mind, body and soul. You protect me. You patiently wait for me to come to you. You delight in our intimacy. I need to be comforted and for you to hold me. I cannot do this alone. You are my Father and I am your daughter. You tell me to run to you! “And oh as your run, what hindered love, will only become part of the story.” You use all these hindered things and turn them for good. You are the author of my story from beginning, middle, end and eternity. You fully know every detail and You don’t hide Yourself from me. Your arms are always open to receive me. You call me your baby! “Baby, you’re almost home now, please don’t quit now, you’re almost home to me.”
Thank you Jesus for revealing yourself to me. For helping put these heavy words to paper so my heart may feel lighter. As I prepare for the World Race, let me be open to whatever you have for me. Let your presence be so strong that I am taken aback by your fierce Grace. Equip me for your purpose. Thank you for tearing the veil and breaking my chains on the cross with your shed blood. You make me brave. Your baby is running to you, I am throwing off my fear, I am laying the chains down at your feet. I am coming out of hiding.
– By Rebecca Bannister
Out of Hiding (Father’s Song)
Written by Steffany Gretzinger & Amanda Cook
Come out of hiding you’re safe here with me There’s no need to cover what I already see You’ve got your reasons, but I hold your peace You’ve been on lockdown, and I hold the key ‘Cause I loved you before you knew what was love And I saw it all, still I choose the cross And you were the one that I was thinking off When I rose from the grave Now rid of the shackles, my victory’s yours I tore the veil for you to come close There’s no reason to stand at a distance anymore You’re not far from home
I’ll be the lighthouse when you’re lost at sea And I will illuminate everything No need to be frightened by intimacy Just throw off your fear and come running to me Oh ‘Cause I loved you before you knew what was love And I saw it all, still I choose the cross And you were the one that I was thinking off When I rose from the grave Now rid of the shackles, my victory’s yours I tore the veil for you to come close There’s no reason to stand at a distance anymore You’re not far from home You’re not far from home Keep on coming
And Oh as you run, what hindered love Will only become part of the story And Oh as you run, what hindered love Will only become part of the story And Oh as you run, what hindered love Will only become part of the story And Oh as you run, what hindered love Will only become part of the story
Baby you’re almost home now Please don’t quit now You’re almost home to me Baby you’re almost home now Please don’t quit now You’re almost home to me Yes you are Baby you’re almost home now Please don’t quit now You’re almost home to me
Link to song – https://youtu.be/XFkDqQtfs0w
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