Before the (not so) dramatic conclusion in my “Getting the Call” trilogy, I thought that I would share the following facebook note that I wrote on Christmas Eve. If you’ve been reading my blog, you’ll see how God was working in my heart during a time of waiting. Even if you haven’t been following my blog (what? for real? you haven’t been pouring over my every entry? GASP!!!), the note stands alone, and I hope you find it encouraging.
December 24, 2010
“Advent is about learning to wait. It is about not having to know exactly what is coming tomorrow, only whatever it is, it is of the essence of sanctification for us. Every piece of it, some hard, some uplifting is sign of the work of God alive in us.” –Joan Chittister
Waiting.
This Advent season, I’ve become acutely aware that I’m in my own personal season of waiting. God has been answering each and every one of my prayers with a patient, parental, “just wait.” A loving, gentle, “hold on a bit longer, you’ll see.” On the best of days, I get the feeling He’s quite giddy about the whole thing. On the worst of them, I’m so discouraged that I convince myself that this will never end and that my hopefulness is naïve and pointless.
There’s tension in the Waiting. Tension between hope and despair. Tension between joy and apathy. Tension between what is and what will come. Tension between the Truth and everything else.
What better day than Christmas Eve to think about Waiting? Today, how many times will the words, “just wait until tomorrow” be uttered? I know that this may be a little broad, but doesn’t waiting on Christmas Eve have a special kind of joy about it? When tomorrow gets here, and you open your presents, provided your family and friends don’t have a penchant for giving really lame gifts, you will be surprised by something. (And I mean that in a good way, not in a, “well, no, Uncle Billy, I didn’t ask for a tarantula for Christmas” way.)
Here’s the thing: I want to approach this season of Waiting with joyful anticipation, but I’m finding that I have to fight fear and doubt every day. Every day, I have to choose to be hopeful, choose to be joyful, choose to believe that God’s plans for my life are good and full of purpose. Even when I don’t know what those plans are, even when it feels like nothing’s happening, I have to choose to believe that the Waiting is worth it. I have to choose to believe God’s voice over every fear and doubt filled voice going on in and around me.
And, it’s been a struggle. In this season of Waiting, I’m aware that God’s doing something, and I just don’t know what. And then I came across this, part of Romans 8 in The Message, and it blew me away:
“All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it's not only around us; it's within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We're also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.”
And there it is, Christmas Eve: A pregnant Mary, waiting. An anxious Joseph, waiting. The Light of the World, in the form of an about-to-be-born baby, waiting. The world, in desperate need of Salvation, waiting. There’s tension in the Waiting, yes, but, there’s joy in the anticipation of God doing something BIG.
And this is what I realize: I’ve been fearing the tension, and getting discouraged in the waiting. But why should I be afraid? God is for me, and he’s increasing my faith daily as I choose to believe that his Words are true and his plans, whatever they may be, are good. And why be discouraged? While waiting, I have the promise that God is growing something bigger and better than I can ever imagine.
In the Old Testament, God tells Joshua, “…do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Immanuel. God with us.
Don’t fear. Don’t get discouraged. God is here. With us.
With you.
A season of Waiting. Some of you are there, too. Some of you aren’t, but you have been before, and you will be again. I have to put these thoughts down here because I know that I’ll need to read this again when my feelings betray the true Hope and Joy that God is growing in my heart. You can remind me. And I can remind you. We are a people called by God, in his love, to wait with Joy. While we’re waiting, there are so many ways to prepare. Let’s encourage each other, let’s pray for each other, let’s go deeper into the Word of God.
Remember, there’s JOY in the WAITING, embrace it fully!
