I could do this. I want to do this! Does God want me to do this?
After stumbling on the World Race website, those three thoughts preoccupied me for the rest of the day. Then for the rest of the week. And then the month.
In the past, I’ve looked into participating in short-term missions. Some trips have interested me, but, I’ve usually placed them before God with a simple prayer: God, if this trip is something you want me to do, then don’t let me forget about it. Keep it on my heart and mind until I know its something you want me to pursue.
I’ve always forgotten. Until now.
At first, I couldn’t deny the impact that just the idea of the WR was having on me. I thought maybe that was the point. Maybe God didn’t actually want me to go on the race, maybe he was using my exposure to the race to reveal to me how much I’ve grown in the past few years. Even a year ago, I would’ve been too scared to consider the possibility of something like this. Now, the thought of it energized me. Reading the blogs of current racers challenged and encouraged me, when, in the past, I think I would’ve been intimidated by (and uncomfortable with) their boldness. Maybe that’s all God wanted me to get from the WR site- a new appreciation for how far he’s brought me in my walk with him. But, did God actually want me to consider going on the WR?
I told a few close friends that I was praying about joining the race, and I asked them to pray too. I felt like God was gently nudging me to go, but, I also felt like he wanted me to wait before applying. I settled into a mode of expectant waiting (mingled with a little impatience and occasional confusion!). I decided that if God wanted me to go, two things would happen: the WR would accept my application (ha, duh!), and, more pressing to me, that my job would grant me an unpaid leave of absence for the year.
Now, I know that some people feel called to leave their jobs to pursue missions. I was not getting that vibe from God! I have been blessed with a great job teaching music, and I’ve been in the same school for ten years. For better or worse, my coworkers are like family, and, I enjoy seeing my students grow. Leaving my job didn’t seem like what God was asking me to do; but, asking for a leave of absence for the WR, although unusual, seemed like the right direction.
In November, I shared with my family what God was putting on my heart. They were a little shocked, but, they also wanted to be supportive of whatever God was doing in my life. We went through the holidays with an awareness that maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t be celebrating Thanksgiving and Christmas with them the following year. But I still didn’t apply for the race. Not yet. For a few reasons (none of them interesting enough to write about here!) I felt that January would be the month everything would fall into place.
So I waited. December was a long month…
(to be continued)
