Silent God
Today is a day of silence, in order to hear God's voice, but often times I feel as though my God is silent too…
It is Monday, June 25, 2012. I am in Swaziland, living with 26 girls for the month. This would not have been my first option… 26 girls is a lot to handle. And a lot of community. And alone time – wait, what is that? We surprisingly all fit in a small 4 bedroom house. But at times, it can get loud. Really loud. Shouting over each other at dinner – loud. Or just being crazy loud. Having dance parties – loud. People snoring – loud. Is there ever a quiet moment… Probably not. Well until today.
An oath of silence.
Being silent for an entire day.
Is that even possible for 26 girls?
Today is a day to spend with the Lord. A day to listen to His voice. A day to learn from His Word. A day to grow in faith.
Did you know that in the book of Joshua, during the fall of Jericho, the Isrealites had to be silent. I didn't know that… until today. Joshua commanded his army, "Do not give a war cry, do not raise your voices, do not say a word until the day I tell you to shout. Then shout!" That's interesting. Do not say a word until the day I tell you to shout. I wonder if this meant complete silence… I wonder if it was for the seven days that they were silent… I wonder if some of them talked…
As a squad, we are silent. As an individual, I am doing a water fast along with it. Only drinking water all day long. I did my first fast in Romania. But I have never a done a fast with just water. I am currently reading through the Old Testament, and realizing how often it says the people prayed and fasted. Not to be seen or to bring attention to themselves. The people fasted and prayer, in order to hear God's voice. In order to get an answer. To dedicate a day to the Lord. What a learning experience. A growing experience. Something to deepen my faith.
But sometimes I feel my God is silent. He is my Daddy. Why won't He talk to His daughter… His princess.
It's not that I don't feel His pressence. I do. I know He is there, especially in this month of community and hardships and ministry. But I want to hear His voice. I want a picture, a dream, a vision, a voice… Something… Anything really.
But all I hear back is… Patience, my child, patience.
