Wow… I leave in about 24 hours for Atlanta for Launch!!! I can’t believe that after 10 months of preparation, it’s finally here. This time next week…. I will be in India!!!
These past few weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions going crazy with packing, moving, and , the hardest part, goodbyes.
I finally moved out of my very first apartment that I lived in for over 2 1/2 years and, boy, was that tough. 4 stories, 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a kitchen, and a huge living room took about a weeks worth of moving and cleaning, but I did it! With my roommate and the help of my amazing parents, we got everything out and cleaned.
It was tough to move out, but I know the season ahead of me is where I belong: traveling with my sQuad with God at my side.
I am finally packed!!!!! It feels crazy to have packed my life for a year in just two backpacks… This was probably what stressed me out the most. I started packing about 3 days ago and the first try, I broke. I kept asking myself if I was doing the right thing, was I really ready for this?! And thank God for the amazing parents he gave me. My mom came in, sat by my side while I cried and reassured me.
I breathed, prayed, and trusted, and sure enough… I did it! Hopefully…. Hahaha
And the worst part… The goodbyes. It’s been tough to say “See you at the end of the year!” to the people that I see everyday and to those who help keep me sane. But God has been telling me through all the goodbyes, there is going to be a time I see them again. A friend on my sQuad had an amazing idea to have friends write letters to me as if I was gone because I won’t be able to get mail on the trip. This way, when I’m having a bad day, I can grab a letter, read it, and have some words of wisdom from a friend back home. (Thanks for the idea, Brianna 😉 )
With all these things weighing on me, I have been crying, laughing, screaming, silent, and every other thing I could be this past week.
But today on my last trip home from apartment, it hit me:
God wouldn’t be making anxious if I wasn’t supposed to be going.
If I just felt ‘eh’ and was indifferent and unemotional, I wouldn’t be prepared to feel that way as I know I’m going to for the first few weeks, even months. He’s been pushing those emotions on me so I remember to lean on him and trust in him when I need him the most. So that I know he’s there for me when I feel the worst, or the best. He’s reminding me I’m alive and ready for the next big thing.
So here’s to probably my last blog post in the States!
God bless and I look forward to seeing everyone when I get back and to sharing my stories and pictures!
-Becca
