How do I put into words post race in-between land?
I am stuck in the middle not fully knowing what's next. I have told stories and people have asked questions, but last years adventures seem like a dream or a forgotten scrap book packed away in a box somewhere. I find myself looking more at pictures of the race these days. I understand life moves forward and it doesn't really matter if I want to or not I am being swept with the waves too.
I don't know how to specifically answer the question, "What's next?" I have a pretty good idea, but I am walking in freedom now so the sky really is my limit.
I have spent the last month and half since being home working at a camp. I am overjoyed at the Father's faithfulness to provide this place and these people. I get to be the new me in the old place. Does that mean God hasn't been teaching me more since returning to the states? NO, absolutely not.
I still daily have to choose to love people. I love people, but I don't love our down fall-sin. I am not self-righteous so I know I too have a flesh that I feed. I feel like they do a great job telling us how easy it is to get swept back into the world, but that doesn't prepare you completely to enter back.
Since being home I have learned that I am surrounded by people yet still feeling desperate for community. Community is more than living together. This year I could have chose to just live with my team, but instead we invested in each other. We laughed. We cried. We got angry. We forgave. We pushed. We overcame. My point is that you get what you put into relationships. I can not expect to go deep with people if I am not willing to go to those places too. It is real easy to hold back because you feel that no one will understand what you went through or what you are currently going through. My most recent of experiences tells me it's not worth it to stay isolated.
That means you must put yourself out there-naked and unashamed. Sure fear of heart brake is real and can some times leave us paralyzed, but is it worth missing out on something greater?
Maybe start by asking someone today what their name is and see what happens.
