Tired and feeling beating down. Asking myself as I arise today, "Can you really do this, is this really what you were called too?" Then it came to me God is preparing me even now in my brokenness, in my doubt, and weariness. The past two weeks have been a testament to this. I don't know how many of you have had the privilege of watching the miracle of birth but I recently got the opportunity to watch a mother labor and a life come into this world. This was a process I was very much afraid of experiencing. When you think about babies you don't think about the details or the process in which they are delivered or at least it was something I never really thought twice about until OB this semester. My mom will tell you I called her and I had pretty much decided that children were out of the picture for me. I was terrified. How could something so sweet and innocent do what it must to take its first breath outside of utero? What came next was unexpected.
First the head, then the shoulder, until finally the baby was out. I was partially in shock of it all. As I saw the hair on this little ones head and its tiny hands and feet something inside of me was welling up. God was stirring! I finally understood Davids psalm, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, and I know that full well."
I fell in love with birth because it reminded me of something greater-the fathers heart. God knew this baby before it was born, before you could hear its heart beat at around 10 weeks conception, and even before that HE KNEW! He knows now who this child will become, what it will do or who it will be. Can we all just stop for a second and think about this… Seriously stop!
The thing is this is all of our stories. HE KNOWS! I am grinning ear to ear right now thinking about this. The God of the universe, of all creation knows! Scripture tells us, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you." (Jer. 1:5) The amazing thing to me is not just that he knows us, but he knows every detail of who we are. "Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered." (Luke 12:7). Beyond knowing us to the core there is something that almost always brings me to tears when I truly think about it and that is that God still loves us after knowing us.
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
When I think of the Fathers love I think of the picture of the first time father I met this week. He loved his child so much. He was so proud and could not take his eyes of his sweet baby. This baby had to do nothing. It did not have to win at any sporting event, or get the best grades in its class, or have the best job out there. It just had to be. The father loved it because the child belonged to him. God loves us. He holds us in his arms and whispers, "Nothing can seperate us."
I hope He reminds you as He has reminded me of this picture. This is the picture I get the opportunity to share with people all over the world. The picture of a Father who loves His children, who loves each child like it is the only one. I am so excited to be apart of this unique group. As I question decisions that I make the Lord always confirms them by reminding me of little things about himself. Will you join with me in prayer that God would begin to move even now in the hearts of the people my team and I will come encounter with next year in Bulgaria, Romania, Rwanda, Uganda, kenya, Thailand, Malaysia, Cambodia, Nicaragua, Honduras, and Guatemala. Also as you pray if your heart is being moved to be apart of this, which I so hope it is, would you consider partnering with me finacially.
Your sister in Christ, Rebecca
