Life is not what you expect it to be sometimes. In my experience I have learned that expectations can be very deceiving. Expectations are either met, blown, or not met in the slightest. As I began my first day of ministry here in Antigua I came with the expectation that I would be working in an orphanage only to find out that I would instead be working in a malnutrition clinic. The thing about expectation is that it is our minds way of putting limitation on an event in time. That’s right our minds have limitation, but I am learning God’s does not. God has no limitation. He knows our very heart. He knows our very mind. In His knowing He has a plan. He has a purpose.
Why do we have expectations then?
I believe that in the heart of expectation is the thinking that I know best. We think we know what would be unrivaled or unequaled. Man am I learning just how small my mind is in its thinking. I am realizing that I need to let my expectations go afloat and just grab hold of the vision of God. I need to grab hold of the thinking that I don’t in fact know what is best. Again, God in His knowing has a plan and a purpose.
Have you ever sat down and thought about your expectations?
I will be the first to admit I have several expectations that have been met, were not met, or have been exceeded in my short twenty-two years of life. Take this trip for example, I never in a million years would have believed to be doing something to this degree. I expected to be dating seriously or thinking about marriage at this point in my life. Instead I am called to 11 months of singleness and who knows after. I also expected to have graduated college and started nursing right away, but that too did not happen. I thought I would live in the comfortable where when community got rough I could just run home to the quiet and forget that all exist.
God rocked my world. He spoke and the ground quaked under His voice. He changed everything. He shifted everything. I know that if my expectations were met then I would not be where I am at today in one of the most beautiful places in the world. I would not be doing what is truly a passion of mine. I would be living still in the comfortable. I would have hot showers, a laundry machine, a bed, and a space all to myself. While all these things to my human mind seem to be the promise land I know now that they are just an illusion. They are only distractions from the real truth.
Let’s let go together! Forget that which your mind can grasp onto. Dive into the depths.
In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9
(Maria has stolen my heart and I want nothing but to rap her in my arms and hold her forever)
All photos are courtesy of my wonderful squad mate Sara Shaneor
