Those sad eyes stared back at me and in an instant my heart was captivated. I had no idea who this precious little girl was but from that moment on she was forever mine.
I had wanted to do mission work my entire life. I’ve read hundreds of blogs and seen thousands of photos but for some reason this one touched me in a way so very different from all the others. I saved the picture on my computer and went along with my day. Days, weeks and eventually months passed but her face was never far from my mind. I couldn’t figure out why this one picture stole my heart the way it did. I would pray for her and think about her often.
I never really talked about her. Up until about two weeks before I went to India I had only told two people about her; my Greenbeans (Grandma) and my best friend Molly. It remained our secret for quite some time. Not that I wanted it to be a secret I just couldn’t find the words to talk about her. She was so deeply held in my heart that I couldn’t form a sentence to put my feelings into words.
Eventually, the tug at my heart was just too strong. Surely there was a reason God placed her so strongly on my heart, I had to find out who she was.
I was met immediately with many challenges. I had one picture, saved from many months ago, I had no idea who she was or where she was. I remember the WR team and trying to contact the person I remembered who posted that picture. I was unsuccessful. Time had passed and I was now questioning myself and my memory of how I first found her.
Again, months would pass and I would spend time looking through more blogs from people who had done mission work in India trying to find anything, another picture, her name, where she was at…to no avail.
Eventually, about a year and a half after I had first seen the picture of my little girl, I was sitting in a food court in downtown Chicago in between shifts at work. I opened my laptop and was determined to find her, even if it meant googling every orphanage in all of India.
When I got to the Sarah’s Covenant Homes website I felt my heart jump when I saw they were doing a 105 in 105 campaign. This campaign was taking one day each to do a spotlight all 105 children at SCH. It was around day 80 and I started going backwards from there. Even though time had passed I knew if I saw her face I would know it was her. Going down day by day I still didn’t find her. As I got closer to day one my heart started to hurt thinking I would never find her. Then I got to day six.
There she was.
My little girl, I found her. I can’t believe I finally found her.
I stared at her picture for what seemed like eternity, soaring over the fact that I had finally found her. As I went to click on her profile something caught my attention and stopped me dead in my tracks.
She has my name.
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
Not only did I find my little girl, we have the same name. She was My Little Rebekah.
I couldn’t click the ‘sponsor’ button fast enough. She was partially sponsored but I knew whatever was left to get her fully sponsored I wanted to take care of. She was mine. I called Greenbeans and with tears in my eyes I told her what had happened. Our hearts had bonded over our love for this little girl and now we knew who she was. Still though, I just couldn’t find the words to tell people about my little girl. I can sum it up in a line from Titanic, ‘a womans heart is a deep ocean of secrets.’ (I’m sure none of my friends are surprised, I can find a Titanic reference in anything! :-P) That’s how I felt though, my story was out there somewhere in a deep ocean but hadn’t reached the shore yet.
After nearly another year my heart started to open more. I had her picture above my bed, in my computer and on my phone. My parents would ask, friends would ask but I changed the subject. I just wasn’t ready. I would talk about India and wanting to do mission work there but never explained the reasons why.
This past winter I knew I had to get there. It was consuming me. Another friend of mine has a passion for children with special needs like I do and I couldn’t contain my joy finally telling her about my little girl and Sarah’s Covenant Homes. The time had come, I knew it was time to share my story. I broke down to my Dad one night, tears pouring out of my eyes for over an hour, telling him the story of how I found my heart in this tiny little girl named Rebekah. As if I wasn’t emotional enough as it was, he looked at me and said, ‘ lets look at flights tomorrow, we’ll get you to India.’
Two weeks later I was on a plane and I landed in Hyderabad on February 7, 2014.
Walking down a dusty side road from the SCH offices I saw in the distance, way up on a roof, the figure of a small girl. Within seconds the tears welled up in my eyes. I turned and looked at Megan and said ‘I can’t believe it’s finally here, I get to meet My Little Rebekah.’ After quickly composing myself I made my way across the street and up the stairs to the roof. There she was. So many years, so many tears and thousands of prayers later, I finally got to meet My Little Rebekah.
I spent every day with her. As soon as the ayah’s (Indian caregivers) saw me they would get her all cleaned up and in a new dress, ready to go. We would get ice cream, take rides in autos and sit on the steps outside Grace Home just hanging out like we had been doing it for years. I even attempted to take her shopping. However, being that I speak zero Telugu I wasn’t quite sure what I was getting myself into. In our bag at the end of the day we came home with two bracelets that were too small, a banana and a silver spoon. But I’d say it was a success.
I felt like I have known her my entire life. And although I can’t be sure, it felt like she somehow felt that too. It meant so much to me when a few different people who volunteer with SCH told me that they had never seen her get close to or attached to another volunteer before. I always hoped that somehow she would know me and be as excited to see me as I was to see her. Looking at all of the pictures and videos and seeing her smile and laugh reminds me that my prayers were answered.
So many people have asked what my favorite moment with Rebekah was. Of course my first thought is ‘every moment, duh.’ Then I remember the single word my little girl said that captured one moment into every moment.
As we were leaving one day, an ayah sitting on the steps outside stopped us. In her thick Indian accent she asked My Little Rebekah, ‘is this your Mommy?’
She smiled and said yes.
