For those of you still reading these blogs I post (I love it that you do!!) I’m going to try to blog a little while I’m back in Swazi. Some of you might not have even been aware that I WAS going back – it all happened extremely quickly. Funny how God does that sometimes…I even doubted at times that I would be able to go this year. But God, as He always does, blessed me greatly…and here I am, sitting at DIA, waiting for my 5:30pm flight.
I don’t know what to write about, mainly because I’m still in shock that in a few hours, I’ll be boarding a flight, and in a couple days, I’ll be back in Africa.
There are some things in life that are ok to go back to – Africa is one, for me.
There are so few who understand…the almost unbearable magnetic pull that draws me back. I suppose everyone probably has something in their lives that’s like that. Family. Friends. That vacation spot in Mexico that’s a favorite. I guess there’s something that draws and pulls, each of our hearts. Until we can’t deny it anymore.
I don’t know where God has me headed. I have general ideas, and I know that Swazi has a special place in my soul. I know that I’ll someday attain the dreams I have that seem so impossible at times. And above all else, I know that God will be with me every step of the way. Even when I’m rebellious. Prideful. Bitter. Even when I’m at my very worst, I know that God will still take care of me. Lead me. Love me.
Life is an adventure. It makes me sad when I talk with people who’ve given up their dreams; the things that made them feel the most alive, for the sake of money or stability. I’ve learned so much about the fragility of life…the way we can feel so strong but still have no guarantees. I do not follow my dreams and wild ideas for the thrill of it. I do not search out overwhelming adventures for the attention. I do these things because it can’t get out of my system. Its not something that can be flushed out, scraped out, or scrubbed off. I do these things, because it is while I’m off in some strange country, living very simply, helping people in tangible ways, that I feel the most alive. When I’m out there (wherever “there” happens to be) I feel as though its where I was born to be. The joy that comes over me is unlike any other. And the peace, that in itself is a whole new world.
Lots of people worry. I guess I can’t blame them. But this is faith, isn’t it? Trusting that God’s got it all in the safety of His hands? Trusting that He knows what’s best, even if we can’t see a shred of the good to come?
My heart will always break for the ones who never followed their dreams. Who never got to experience the completeness in doing what you were designed to do. My prayer is that you, whoever you are, will remember your dreams – no matter where you are now, and that you’ll re-consider following them.
I mean, we’ve got one life here. One shot at this. Why not do what brings you joy and life?
This blog was an example of what happens when I know I should write something but don’t know what to write about. I did mean everything though. I hope that in some way, it’s an encouragement. Chances are good that if you wake up wondering if there’s more, there truly is something more for you. And that something is wonderful.
I love you all. I’ll be hopping on a plane pretty soon. Might post blogs when I get to Nsoko, but depends on time and money 🙂 As always, I pray that God blesses you abundantly today. Sometimes His greatest blessings and encouragements come in small packages 🙂
Hopefully there aren’t too many typos in this blog. I’m back to using my laptop that has a broken screen, so it’s super tough to see what I’m typing! Love you all. And, p.s. reading your comments here makes me really happy!!! 🙂
-Becca
