So, it’s been 10 months and 21 days since the World Race
officially ended for me.
That…is crazy.
Funny how the intense things in life tend to feel like
they’re closer or further than they really are isn’t it? The World Race feels
like it just ended about a month ago, and at the same time years ago.
My life is significantly more normal than the 11 months I
traveled around the world. Living, itself, is a completely different experience
altogether. Example: I just got a salad for $1 at McDonald’s, am sitting by
myself, and will be going to Target to return something after I post this.
Every action in that sentence never happened once while I was on the Race.
I am a slow-adjuster, I’ll be the first to admit. In some
ways, it’s a pretty great thing, an incredible thing. It makes experiences seem
to last longer, details linger, emotions connected with the events stay fresh.
The life-changing pieces of my past tend to feel relatively new for a long
time.
More days
than not, I wrote about my experiences and God’s subtle (or not so subtle)
whispers.
More days than not, I took pictures of what was around me, or my teammates did.
More days than not, I was faced with a challenge to love people.
And here I am, over 10 months later.
More days than not, I don’t journal about my experiences, even if something
pretty awesome (or strange) happened.
More days than not, I can’t honestly tell you that I hear God speaking, or even
whispering to me.
More days than not, I don’t take pictures of what’s around me, and sadly, more
days than not, I am not challenging myself to love people.
There it is. That’s the truth of it. There are probably a
million more things that are strangely contrasting to the way I spent my life a year ago today, but I can’t write about them all. My point is that
things have drastically changed.
But the thing I’m learning, is that with change, and with
growing, comes more responsibility. God took 11 months of my life to teach me
how to grow in more ways than one. He showed me things I’m capable of that I
never thought I could do. He pushed me to my breaking point and then past that,
and then said quietly, “See? We can do this,” with a voice more comforting than
anything else.
I’ve moved into a new place in Denver, am living with 3
girls I basically don’t know, and I’m working finally. I’m dating an incredible
man, I’ve finally found a church, and am building friendships with people
there. My last semester at school was insanely difficult but at the same time,
I finished it feeling proud of myself. I’m on my way, to…somewhere.
It’s a daily struggle, finding the balance between living in
the moment and looking far ahead. I think that’s the best way to live, really.
To have goals in mind and be actively working towards them, and at the same
time, not neglecting the people and situations literally right in front of you.
When I say it’s a struggle, that’s my nice way of saying that some days I fail.
But the crazy thing about failing is that God finds a way to teach you things
anyway.
I’m happy. There’s a level of joy that is always with me,
even when things upset me or hurt. It doesn’t take much to remind me of that
joy…sometimes it’s the sunset, or getting to talk to a homeless man with a
beautiful smile at a stop light. Sometimes I’m not even around anyone, and I
find myself just happy. I think God does that sometimes. He must know we forget
to really SEE things – so He pushes us to notice them. Little reminders. This week some new
friends and I are going to try something new. We’re going to try to love people
in a pretty tangible way, and I can’t even tell you how excited we are.
For those of you reading this, it blows my mind that you
care enough to read these random updates! If you’re reading to see if I’m
taking off again, I’m praying pretty hard about going back to Swaziland end of
this year. I’ve never been so broke in my life, but God knows my heart, and I’m
trusting that my going back would serve a purpose. I don’t know if I’ve ever
wanted anything so much – it feels like I haven’t been home since 2009.
Becca
